Disclaimer: The Coffee Break Team knows little to nothing about astrology and has not been certified by the Society of Astrologists to provide horoscopes.


They are not handling it. “I’m cold and then there’s just more cold” – my Aries friend. Pray for their poor fire-sign lives.


A cold Taurus just wants hugs. Give them hugs, please. They need you.



One side of Gemini is very cold, but their alternate personality is as hot as ever.



Handling it surprisingly well, but winter is an emotional time for Cancers. Treat your Cancer friend to some hot chocolate and a “New Girl” marathon.



Leo is a mess. The sign of the sun, they are farthest away from their source of internal energy, and therefore more likely to cry when they have to go outside. The only way you’ll be seeing your Leo friends is if you go to their room yourself. They aren’t leaving that warm bubble unless it’s for class, maybe not even then…



Virgo is that one friend who wears three sweaters, a coat, two scarves, gloves and a hat so big that it almost covers their entire face. Oh, and long underwear under all of that. They have no chill when it comes to this chill.



Libra’s keep wondering why everyone is making such a big deal out of everything. “Yeah. It’s winter. Winter’s cold. No need to be a baby about it. Put on a scarf and go about your [expletive] day like a big girl” – my Libra friend.



Scorpio is being as extra as ever, complaining every other second as if everybody else isn’t also suffering through the cold weather.



Sagittarius thrives in cold weather. Or rather, under a mountain of blankets with their laptop balanced on their chest, scrolling through Tumblr and falling down YouTube holes. This is their happy place.



Your Capricorn friend is the one who won’t shut up about why extreme cold temperatures are another ramification of climate change. If you have to listen to them rant about the news one more time, you might lose your mind.



Aquarius hasn’t noticed a difference in temperature; it is in fact, comfortable for them. It is Aquarius season, after all. Their souls are so cold that this is the only time of the year during which they can achieve true homeostasis. Fear them, for they are at their most powerful.



Um, Pisces froze and won’t thaw out until Pisces season begins. RIP.

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