A local Bridgeport man, who fell asleep on the bus, awoke Sunday after reaching the end of the bus route in Fairfield. Attempting to walk back to the city, he inadvertently stumbled onto Fairfield’s campus.
Walking through the town and surrounding area, the man was struck by the multitude of wealthy people and rich, opulent houses and stores.
Then, he approached the Fairfield University campus. The man made it as far as the Barone Campus Center after walking up the hill near Bellarmine Hall past the pond and the lawn.
‘I’ve never seen anything so beautiful,’ the unidentified man said as’ tears filled his eyes, according to witnesses.
The man became confused and puzzled by the inundation of North Faces, Uggs, Lacoste, Polo and designer clothes.
He was met with stares from a crowd of students who had never seen someone from Bridgeport before.
‘To be honest, I was a little scared,’ said Christina Roseblum ’11. ‘One of the main reasons I applied to Fairfield was that it was No. 2 in homogenous population.
‘Although, my parents were a little concerned since it was so close to a city.’
However, other students were more sympathetic.
‘I totally relate, brah,’ said Keith Fitzpatrick ’10. ‘Lil’ Wayne’s my boy, yo. I’m from the hard streets of Bergen County.’
The Bridgeport man was quickly detained by Public Safety before he could see anymore.
‘Our cloaking spell must have worn off,’ said Public Safety Chief Kingsley Shacklebolt. ‘Those people aren’t supposed to be able to see our campus. To outsiders, it appears to be just another Black Rock package store.’
President of Student Affairs Archibald Winston III agreed that the incident should never have happened.
‘It’s bad enough we force our students to go into that area for some home basketball games,’ he said. ‘We don’t need it following us back here.’