Between its ever-expanding admission pools and growing national profile, it is clear that Fairfield University is on the rise in the minds of college students. As a sophomore who’s currently in his fourth semester on campus, it’s really not that hard to see why. 

Fairfield has so much to fall in love with: a well-designed campus enriched with contemporary glamor, a diverse array of learning and career opportunities, and a location that serves as a nexus point between New England and the metropolis of New York City.

Even in the worst weather, the ugliest, grayest of days, Fairfield has an energy to it that makes getting up and being productive feel exciting and full of potential for self-improvement (or at the bare minimum — some mindless socializing). 

In a world where picking a college feels like the hardest choice you’ll ever make, Fairfield feels like it was a sure-fire hit. 

That being said, everything has room for improvement. Fairfield University, like every institution, isn’t perfect, and that in itself can be a good thing. Imperfection isn’t necessarily always negative. Some imperfections give a place character, something wholly unique unto itself. 

But then there are the pet peeves, the imperfections that make you exhale through your nose in quiet disgust whenever you see it. The imperfections that make your day just the tiniest, ittiest, bittiest, bit more difficult than it should be. In my opinion, Fairfield University, as great as it is, has a fair amount of peeves. These are just a few of them, in no particular order whatsoever.

First, when driving into campus, why is there not a giant arrow or sign pointing at where to turn once getting to the circle in front of the Stag statue? If I had a dollar for all of the Uber’s and DoorDash’s that somehow ended up at Marion Peckham Egan School of Nursing and Health Studies instead of the places where people actually live, I would have enough to pay tuition and buy a nice apartment in lower Manhattan. I could maybe even invest in some crypto with that money while I’m at it. 

Also, where are all the parking spaces? Disclaimer, I don’t have a car on campus, but once again if I had a dollar for every student that mentioned the lack of parking, I would be able to pay for a Super Bowl ad that features Harry Styles playing hopscotch with Harry Potter- A fifteen-second one, not a minute one though; capitalism is ruthless.

On the note of parking, it does not take rocket science to understand that human beings like sunsets. Sunsets are pretty, they give a little bit of magic and awe to the end of our days and provide just a little bit of positive energy to carry us through the rest of the evening. That being said, why are there so many trees on the west side of campus? Don’t get me wrong, I love trees. I wish there were more trees! But for gosh sake, can we please bust out a chainsaw and give the west side of campus a trim? The student body would be thankful for a little bit more golden hour.

Furthermore, I propose that we start mandating community service to be completed by all those who get written up, because I am so sick and tired of tripping over crushed beer cans on a Sunday morning. All litter is bad, don’t get me wrong, but when you’re throwing cans in trees no more than 10 feet away from a trash can, you’re being a special kind of ignorant. Sorry, not sorry.

Speaking of tripping, what is with the weird booby trap system set up outside the Stag and Barone Campus Center? You know which one I’m talking about. One second you’re walking on perfectly normal looking square tiles, the next you’re tripping over and twisting your ankle while a turkey stares at you — laughing quietly in its tangerine-sized brain.

Okay, now for the lightning round: Why is there no dining in the Tully past 8:00 p.m.? Some people have turbos man, give us a break pretty please. Oh, and whatever happened to that pizza food truck? I would never call the COVID-19 era the “good ole days”, but for those little pizzas, I might reconsider. And last but certainly not least, I got two words: Blackout. Curtains. If you know, you know. 

Like I said, Fairfield is pretty awesome. It has a level of consistent goodness that many colleges rarely achieve. But if these insignificant bullet points mean anything, it’s that sometimes, nitpicking has some merit to 

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