To the Editor:

To be published in The Mirror, an article must comply with the Ethics Code located on page 5 of your free academic planner.  Although I personally feel the statement, “that pounding you gave her last night will turn into a pounding headache” toes the line of vulgarity and does not immediately impress me as being important to my understanding of the situation (See #21 in Ethics Code for The Mirror), my standards in terms of what I consider vulgar may not equal the general consensus.  I would place the terms “pound” and “bang” under the category of  “vulgar street language describing sexual activities” (also #21) as they are likewise terms used synonymously with “beat”.  But that’s just me.

Those in defense of Surette maintain that he only voices the opinion of the male population at Fairfield.  While I know several male individuals who would not appreciate being spoken for by Surette, I recognize the sad reality that serves as the basis for this defense.  Some people simply do not consider women in human terms, as revealed by Surette’s article, “And hopefully you got something out of this too … actually, we really don’t care.”  If Surette were referring to members of another group (eg. Hispanics, Muslims, lower income families), people would be up in arms over the situation.

The column suggests that all men at Fairfield think of women not as people, but as things for sex whose thoughts and feelings are insignificant. This generalization would conflict with #23 in Ethics Code for The Mirror which states that, “Staffers will take care in writing to avoid applying commonly thought but usually erroneous group stereotypes.” If this is indeed not a generalization and Surette’s opinion represents the voice of Fairfield, there is a serious problem facing our community. The Mirror should have addressed this from an objective standpoint as a social issue, instead of promoting ideas that demean people by instructing males to “remember to be ruthless and have no shame.”


Amber Nowak ’12

To the Editor:

Let me remind you Mr. Surette, that those so-called “sluts” and “hood rats” that you speak of in your column are the daughters and sisters of someone out there. For you to make such loose and flaccid remarks displays a complete lack of character and respect towards women.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a male and I have needs as well, but the way in which you have framed your ideas is not only offensive, but also humiliating. Women being taken advantage of by college men are not something to laugh at. No one should have to be subjected to the type of misogynistic claims that you have leveled at the women of this campus who may, or in all likelihood not, have been unfortunate enough to go home with you.

I am sure that there are a select few women in your life whom you hold in high regard. I dare you to read that piece to mom. Your own insecurities resonate quite clearly in your article and I hope you can work them out through countless hours and thousands of dollars of professional help.

When you are 40 years old, quasi-successful, miserable and alone, remember that this is all a manifestation of the appalling way in which you degrade women. I certainly hope that your aforementioned opinions are not the way you truly feel about females and that this was for the pure shock factor of writing something so biased and offensive. In all likelihood you lost a bet at the Grape and were coerced into this, but who knows.

We are creatures that do not easily cope with mediocrity and being unpopular. Maybe it is not you that I am directing my claims against so much as the patriarchal society of the day. From what I can perceive, women have it a lot, and I mean a lot, harder than men. Every aspect of the feminine body and demeanor is scrutinized with an unparalleled level of detail in comparison to men.

As Atticus Finch said, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view — until you climb into their skin and walk around in it”. What you have failed to realize that in your sexual prime as a Stag, your hall of fame will have nothing to show for this season due to your degrading remarks.


Brandon Mathias ’11

To the Editor:

I am a member of the class of 2008, and will readily admit that I do not keep up with The Mirror.  I just happened across the different aspects of the “He Said” controversy. After reading the article, I was most alarmed by the terrible writing.  The author begins with women taking the walk of shame after they are taken home, but then abruptly starts telling guys to run out of the house soon after waking up.  Then is suddenly giving STD and pregnancy avoidance advice.  He seems to jump around like Carrot Top after a steroids and cocaine cocktail.

In terms of the language, it sounds as if Mr. Surette is trying way too hard. He seems to lack or ignore any sense of tact or allusion, which is rather sad for a weekly commentary writer. The writing did not strike me as outright offensive, though I have been inoculated to this sort of language after having Dan Stanczyk as the “He Said” for my senior year.  But on the other hand, if you read between the lines, it’s just a collection of almost inappropriate pop culture references with a sprinkle of vulgar language. If I could give any advice to the writer, try to become quotable instead of just being a collection of other people’s words.

To the editorial staff of The Mirror, the “He Said/She Said” column has always been a target for criticisms, from alumni, students and faculty.  My senior year, a roommate had a class devoted to the ways that Stanczyk was demeaning towards women and proved that men are awful beasts.  The best thing you can do is ask Surette to have a bit of tact and stop trying to get a mention on Collegehumor. I would tell the critics that their objections have been noted and nobody cares.


Todd Bingham ’08

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