Scary, but true: the year is coming to an end and it’s time to say good-bye to your beloved He Said and She Said of ’07. Thanks for putting up with our poor writing skills and weak attempts to entertain everyone all year. Your patience has been appreciated.
I’m sure the question burning in your minds now is, “Umm, hey, She Said, what’s next? A column in The Boston Globe? An exciting career in the world of advertising, television, or fashion design perhaps?”
Well friends, it seems as of right now my $120,000+ Jesuit education has set me up for a glamorous career in waitressing. My accounting classes will save me hours this summer figuring out how much to charge for 12 Bud Diesels, one Fish and Chip, two shots of Jack and 15 percent D-bag tax (Please be nice to your waitresses this summer everyone. Don’t forget we spend a lot of alone time with your food).
More importantly, I’d like to offer up some advice to the future She Saids that may be reading. Please understand that anything you write for the paper can and will be torn up, ripped apart, and rewritten by Ben Doody (or future Ben Doody) and his Mirror cronies. I’m sure by this point in this article alone, seven, maybe eight classic one liners have been thrown in the recycling bin of The Mirror office. So, yes, this means I’m actually even funnier than you all thought.
Also, when they take an absolutely hideous picture of you for the paper, get it retaken or else end up with something that doesn’t do your pretty self justice all year. Ask my grandmother, sister, roommate, cousin, Brian Hubbard, anyone! I’m really a babe.
This brings up another piece of advice: I find sarcasm and making fun of yourself always goes over well.
Another ingredient for a successful She Said? A great He Said of course! I don’t know what I would have done this year with out Fairfield’s favorite beef cake, Dan McClorey by my side. Not only is Dan easy on the eyes, he’s actually quite funny and a pretty decent guy.
Ok, I’m sure you’re all tearing up by now, so it’s time to say goodbye. It’s been a great run. Good luck with all your future endeavors, Fairfield U. You’ll be missed, but don’t think you’ve seen the last of Meg Donlon. When you least expect it, I’ll show up stumbling down Reef Road talking about the glory days. Until then, thank you and GO STAGS!
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