Are you tired of buying your concert tickets at the box office? Are you a bit frightened with all of the legal processes of StubHub ?
Well, if you’re a hormonal male with plenty of baby batter to spread, there might just be a way for you to find tickets to concerts without having to pay a dime.
The Web site Spermfortickets.com is willing to see how much your love juice is worth to you. It is looking for donors between the ages of 18-50 who are in good health and have no history of sexual diseases.
If you’re accepted in this “rigorous” pool of applicants, you will undergo many tests for chlamydia, HIV-I and HIV-II, hepatitis B, syphilis and gonorrhea.
The Web site was going to include a notification stating, “Ron Jeremy need not apply,” but at the last second creators apparently realized even he has better things to do than give up his sperm for free concert tickets. Or perhaps his sperm could go to better, um, causes.
The site also states, “These tests are carried out once every three months and all semen samples are quarantined for six months before they can be used to ensure as far as possible that the samples were negative for these diseases at the time of donation.”
So, they mean they really just can’t take me at my word? I’m sure that kind of warm enthusiasm is sure to rally a huge portion of healthy, trim and handsome men, all ready to give up a part of their DNA to strangers.
Sign me up. The site refuses to give any of the bands that are teaming up with the group for this pivotal endeavor, but the site says you can choose “ANY major music festival in Europe.”
Really? So as soon as I can afford the plane ticket to Europe, hotel accommodations, transportation around Europe and meals, then I can get free concert tickets? How convenient is that?
These guys really do plan to make the situation so much easier for you.
I’m not sure what’s worse: The fact that they think people are nuts enough to do this, or that people are nuts enough to do this. Allegedly, the site already has an overflow in donors.
To quote the site, “Applications for donation packs have far exceed the expectations.”
First I’d like to commend the site on it’s mastery of the English language, in noting that applicants “have far exceed the expectations.”
But even more to the point, do you mean to tell me that people took this seriously?
I’m not so sure what I feel towards a person who wakes up one morning and says, “You know, I want to work with sperm for a living.”
Maybe this is just the sign of things to come. What’s next?
Maybe in a few months, they’ll offer the Spitzer Special, in which one “Seven Diamond” of your choice will help you with whatever needs to help you donate. Just watch out for Kristen.
I’m sure this company has great intentions and wouldn’t have any bad will towards your sperm. But I’m not sure offering concert tickets online is going to attract that key 18-50 demographic of athletic, intelligent males who just happen to be without a girlfriend.
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