Ah, back to Fairfield University. How I have missed you. Cheap beer, class-time naps, afternoon naps, late afternoon naps and Barone food.
Actually, I thought I missed cafeteria food, but I really don’t. Let’s get real students; it all looks great, but don’t eat that stuff. And if it gets in your eyes, flush immediately with lukewarm water.
My sophomore year has accustomed me to carefully examine what’s edible and what’s not in the dining hall.
Let’s discuss. What did I eat this week? Cereal, cereal, pizza, french fries, cereal and soup. A well-rounded diet, in the sense that everything is eaten off of a round plate (or bowl).
Any food in a sauce is a trick. The gourmet Sodexho chefs want you to believe that the gravy adds flavor, but I’m convinced that it covers up bad with worse.
Example: turkey francaise. Did you know that turkey could be francaised? Exactly. I didn’t eat it because I knew better, but I heard stories and they were scary.
And what’s the deal with everything being beige? Next time you eat, see what food is on your plate. It’s either going to be yellow, white or beige. So, get a salad and make your mom proud.
I vaguely remember my fall semester freshman year. I expected that the roast beef “carving station” would be absolutely delicious.
I mean, I am spending more money on food than I ever would deem necessary.
Wrong.
Ever since that experience, the only thing I eat that comes from a cow is milk.
This is not to mention that the best way to maintain regular bowel movements is to consume anything fried from Barone.
My non-Italian cohorts have claimed that the pastas are good, but I dare not try them. I know that I make a better sauce than them, and I don’t want to be disappointed. Who puts pistachios in macaroni?
I can’t lie though, I was extremely excited when I saw all the burners at the stir fry station but was disappointed once again when, the next day, three of them magically disappeared.
Finally, the ambience of our lovely dining hall has changed and it has upset me like the music. I want my oldies back and loud enough to sing along with. I don’t really enjoy listening to “The Way I Are” during my breakfast on Sunday afternoon.
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