Dear Students, Faculty, Staff, Alumni, and others this may concern,
I am writing this letter to express my deepest apologies due to my last weeks “He Said” article. I understand that my poor choice of words has offended and upset many that are apart of Fairfield University. I am honestly embarrassed by my language. My intention was not to offend people; however, I was trying to write a satirical, humorous piece. I realize how my words crossed the line between comedy and being offensive.
In the past week, I have overheard many people feeling that my article was promoting rape and violence against women, and that idea could not be more wrong. I understand that a few of the words I used could have been easily used to create this idea. However, for those who know me, they would tell you that I have the total opposite view on this subject. This idea has made me sick and I truly apologize if that notion was perceived from my article.
Also, I would like to make clear that even though my language has been derogatory against women, I truly do not feel this way about them. For those of you who do not know, last semester I was the only guy in a feminism literature class called “The Women Question.” I do respect the ideas of feminism and women’s rights, even though it may not be perceived in my writing.
You may be thinking, ‘why would you write this way without meaning this?’ and the reason is because you must understand the point of the “He Said/She Said” articles. Being “He Said,” as Tom Cleary pointed out in the letter from the editor, is a role. I am playing a character and I am acting. It is truly an entertainment piece.
My goal is to write about the ideas that your typical 18-22 year old college male thinks and speaks with putting a humorous twist on it. These articles are not meant to be taken literally. In saying this, I do understand that I crossed the line this past week and apologize for this.
Thank You,
Chris Surette ’10 “He Said”
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Apology accepted. Let’s move on already, this is becoming too much of an issue. Do I agree with what you said? No. Do I support the first amendment and the Mirror? Yes. The same thing happened with Opie and Anthony, Imus and past He Saids
The protest groups had their say and the Mirror responded well with a discussion. Enough is enough. Drop it already.
Hey, I read the other piece. Rape?!! Violence? Where?
True, I have some problems with the writing style, but that is because it is not as well written as it could have been – like something in cracked.com or collegehumor.com This kind of bombast is actually self deprecatory, and not a call to violence and rape.
What you have said there is standard pretend-male chauvnist stuff – the kind that has been funny for twenty years or more. It is funny because it is obviously not believable in those terms anymore. Read some of the stuff in girls’ sites these days?
Those people who take this kind of stuff need to really read a lot more on the internet. Which backwaters do they come from?
People should relax a bit.
I don’t agree that your article promoted rape pr violence, it was just a very, very poor use of column space.
In a time when journalism is dying and the very fabric of it is being torn apart, you wrote a humor column glorifying a crappy double standard that has unfairly existed for decades?
Don’t apologize and don’t say it was for entertainment purposes. The whole “it was a role” crap doesn’t fly, either. Try reprinting an article from the Onion next time.
So all college males 18-22 think about date raping and humilating women? Awesome!
Also, I like how you “respect” sexual equiality. You “respect” it but don’t support it or consider yourself a feminist.I guess you missed the day where they discussed the meaning of feminism in your women’s studies class. Hint: it means someone who supports sexual equality.
Oh, and if men have been making the same “jokes” from the last 20 years? Maybe it’s time to get some new material – 20 year old jokes are a little stale.
“with putting a humorous twist on it. ”
So that aspect of the column begins second semester?
“For those of you who do not know, last semester I was the only guy in a feminism literature class called “The Women Question”"
That’s like saying, “I’m not racist because I have a black friend!”
Regardless, the most upsetting aspect of this whole thing, is that this turd will eventually have a diploma from the same institution as me.
Time for another one after “The Walk of Shame”. Someone fire this guy and get him off the staff at the Mirror.
The grammatical errors in the apology letter should be enough to get him canned.
Chris, you’re still a disappointment and your actions cast a pall on our univeristy.
Honestly, given all the uproar from your column, and given the fact that your articles aren’t that funny (I peeked at a few more) or grammatically correct, I don’t understand how you’re still writing this column. I get what you’re attempting to do with this column (and apparently it has a “rich” history at Fairfield), but when it’s done badly it just comes across as terrible and ignorant. Your “satire” just kind of makes you look like a huge douche, and I don’t see why you would want to look like a huge douche on a regular basis (or why Fairfield would want to allow a huge douche stereotype to perpetuate, even if it is supposed to be good humored).
I assume you aren’t a huge douche, because I heard from facebook that you actually went to my high school. It’s hard to believe that though since you’re writing something as vulgar as this. What’s that motto of ours, “in harmony small things grow?” Well it’s kind of hard to be harmonious when kids are regularly reading and laughing at the negative stereotypes that your written persona takes on.
Final thought – TAKE DOWN THE WALK OF SHAME ARTICLE SO THAT PEOPLE STOP TRASHING YOU. All that article can do is hurt you, both now and in your future career when businesses google search you and come across it. For the sake of yourself, and your school, and Saint John’s, and everyone, take down the Walk of Shame article. There is no reason why it should still be up.
Chris – Although I think your columns require better grammar and better material, I can see how you were trying to say what some guys say (“He Said”) and not necessarily reflect your own thinking or what you say. However, we do live in a world where things of this nature live forever on the internet and context gets lost when disseminating information on blogs. In the future, have a disclaimer, or even better pick better topics. I would also advise to volunteer at some women’s center or sexual assault programs as a better way to show remorse than a simple apology in writing.
Hopefully, this doesn’t ruin your career. Good luck.
“For those of you who do not know, last semester I was the only guy in a feminism literature class called “The Women Question.” I do respect the ideas of feminism and women’s rights, even though it may not be perceived in my writing.”
Oh yeah, I bet you also have one gay friend and so you can’t be a homophobe either right?
Poor column, poor response. Shut this guy DOWN already.
“In the past week, I have overheard many people feeling that my article was promoting rape and violence against women, and that idea could not be more wrong…”
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The funny part about this is you aren’t taking any responsibility for your article. You are just telling people that they perceived it the wrong way. I DO think that one day you will regret writing that piece, but until then don’t apologize because it makes you look even more ignorant.
Also: for something to be an “entertainment piece” is has to be entertaining. What “humorous twist” can you put on rape? What is the statistic? 1/4 of women are sexually assaulted at some point in their lives. Do you know that your mother/grandmother/sister/aunt/cousin/niece is not one of them? Ask every woman close to you if she has ever been sexually assaulted and then have them read your article… then tell them you’re sorry they took it the wrong way.
Good luck with the lawsuit Chris!
This is one half a**ed apology. He apologises for “poor choice of words”. That’s pretty much all he really says he’s sorry for.
He’s doesn’t say “I was wrong”. The fact remains that his words are some of the most disgusting, ignorant, misogynistic drivel I’ve ever heard. I finally understand what kind of feelings drive people to send hate mail.
He does not apologise for calling a woman on a walk of shame “your victim”. He calls refers to the hook up the guy takes home as a “hood rat”. Only a skank would go back to a dorm room for a one night stand. . .? Uh. . . what does that make the guy doing the same thing???
This guy is one epic fail as a man.
“For those of you who do not know, last semester I was the only guy in a feminism literature class called “The Women Question.””
SO this was the one man who enrolled in a class that touches on sexual equality, and he churns out this misogynistic drek, then tries to pass it off as “satire”? God help your University.
If you didn’t feel that way about women, then why did you put your name to an article promoting sexual violence against women?
LOL on the “I can’t be sexist because I took a Women’s Studies class once” defense. Get real, dude.
Your “apology” is not one at all. It’s the “sorry you got offended” (which actually blames the people you’re apologizing to for getting hurt) fake apology.
Grow up and actually admit that you were completely wrong.
Kid,
You’re not a writer, so there is really no need to defend your work. The proper apology would be to say you made a colossal mistake and that you are resigning from The Mirror in order to cleanly end the episode and avoid the publication and school any further embarrassment. Then everyone will just give you a Mulligan. What college student hasn’t lost his or her mind at some point in their four years.
Don’t know if you have visions of having your byline on espn.com, the New York Daily News, or Deadspin in the future. It is not happening. Just move on from it. Resign today and start rebuilding your reputation.
“My goal is to write about the ideas that your typical 18-22 year old college male thinks and speaks with putting a humorous twist on it.”
So apparently, typical 18-22 year old men are into sexually humiliating women and enabling rape? Awesome!
Yeah, just digging yourself a deeper hole dude.
I’m sorry but I read that and there was no use of the word rape. While his diction describing the one night stand process was not the most tactful he never enabled rape. Seriously step back for one second and ask your self is there really an argument that he is talking about rape or that one could feel harassed by this statement. Most people read the article, laughed, and went on with their life. Why don’t you try doing the same.
@ A Fairfield U student:
Just because the writer didn’t use the word “rape” does not mean he didn’t condone it in his article (whether it was his intention or not).
For example, he refers to the woman as “your victim.” Please tell me, Mr. Smartypants: what is another word for a sex act with a victim? (Hint: Rape).
He talks about having sex with a women, whom he expresses hate for, while she is drunk, and he does not care how she feels about it. How can you not understand that when it is so transparent? You should take a step back and reread the article again if you missed all that.
At least Chris was being “satirical,” unlike George Sodini.
I guess I really don’t understand the mindset that is behind an article like that. Why, exactly, should a woman feel that she is performing a “Walk of Shame”? Not too many married women in college, and as long as they’re single they are entitled to play the field. Likewise, why it is a victory for a man to have consensual sex with a woman?? Regardless of what you say, that is a rapist mindset- sex equals victory for men, humiliating defeat for women. I do believe you meant it in a humorous way, i.e. you think an egregious sexual double standard used to undermine women is funny. I feel bad for your girlfriend(s) but after looking at your picture I doubt there are many. Perhaps your lack of success contributes to your hostility against women.
“My intention was not to offend people; however, I was trying to write a satirical, humorous piece.”
Okay, where is the “satirical” or even “funny” part? It isn’t uncommon for a person nowdays to say something racist or sexist, whatever, then use the satire defense. So you’re nothing special in that regard (or any other, apparently). But people – with satire, you’re supposed to state a position then proceed to mock it while pretending to support it. There is no mocking, no bits of irony making it clear he disagrees with the position. It’s just something saying sexually humilliating women, or “victims” and “sluts”, is both fun and common. You really wanted to put that out there? Because that is what teaches men that rape is okay without actually saying it. Whether you wanted to or not.
Instead of telling everybody, including women who have to live this everyday (you don’t have to. Lucky you.), we took it wrong, why don’t you read about violence and rape culture and actually take into consideration what critics say? Scum.
Sorry, not acceptable. This article was not funny, your apology is clearly not sincere, and you are a dreadful excuse for a satirist.
Give it up, dude. You’ve just outed yourself as a junior league George Sodini. All the mealy-mouthed “apologies” in the world won’t change that.
No love,
Ellid
P.S. To those who think this is satire and people who object should lighten up – what if your sister or daughter or cousin was one of the “hood rats” who walk the “Walk of Shame” after a night in bed with Chris Surette? Not so funny now, is it?
You know, it frightens me to think that you’re trying to represent a typical (or even stereotypical) college-aged man in writing something like the piece in question. What you are saying when you tell us this is that you believe typical men think of their sexual partners as “victims”, use those “victim”’s stories to glorify themselves, and completely disregard a woman’s sexual pleasure because they just don’t care about it. Basically, you are implying that most men, “typical” men, conflate sex and rape, see women as nameless conquests, and at best are terrible in bed.
To me, that’s nothing to laugh about. I mean, I could see some value in mocking that way of thinking, in tearing it down and letting other men know it is unacceptable. But neither your column nor your apology condemns it – you are normalizing this behavior.
The editors of this paper are TERRIBLE. I can spot at least two blatant mistakes in the FIRST SENTENCE of this column. This is really making Jesuits look dumb.
Taking a Women’s Lit class doesn’t mean you aren’t sexist.
Having sex with a drunk woman – later referred to as a victim – and describing said sex as shameless and ruthless? Really sounds like rape.
And rape is not funny. In any context. Ever.
About one in four or five women will be raped; seventy percent of these rapes are commited by someone the woman knows. Eighty-three percent of women with disabilities will be a victim of sexual violence.
Apology not accepted.
Chris, your writing is terrible. It’s not just the sexism; it’s the writing itself. It’s wordy, awkward, and grammatically incorrect–spelling and punctuation errors, Chris! You need a basic English class–or perhaps basic journalism, 101.
Apology not accepted. How Chris Surette was not immediately dismissed from The Mirror is beyond me.
The whole aspect about whether or not Chris’s original column was “endorsing rape and violence against women” has been completely blown out of proportion.
No sane-minded individual aims to publicly endorse rape. Was the use of the word “victim” and incredibly poor choice in diction? Absolutely.
Was it meant to be a public endorsement of rape or a glorification of violence against women? I highly doubt it.
Understand that I am not defending the decision to publish such a pointless column that had zero redeeming qualities. In fact, it was so poorly written that any potential for humor was marred by the ever-present grammatical errors and the frat-boyish tone which exuded throughout the piece.
As far as the writer himself, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s a completely decent guy, it’s just that he’s not a hell of a writer. It’s unfair for people to attack his character after reading one column – especially when it’s one which he will likely consider the biggest mis-step of his career.
So, if you want to attack the writing, the grammar, the editor’s decision to publish, or the failed idea behind the column – by all means, go for it.
Hell, I did: http://boston-lager.blogspot.com/2009/11/and-this-years-ass-clown-of-year-award.html
But let’s lay off the “Chris Surette is endorsing rape and is a terrible human being and failure in life”. He wrote a failed attempt at a humor column, undeniably, but the rest is all speculation and B.S. from people like myself, who have never even met the poor kid.
I haven’t read anything saying it was an intentional endorsement of sexual assault, but thanks for coming in here and telling everyone how stupid they are for saying that the article condones rape. It may not be what he MEANT to do, but that is what the article does.
Is Chris Surette a miserable human being and failure at life? Most likely not.
Did he make a mistake? Absolutely.
Are you the only one allowed to say anything about it?
… and I’m glad you had a chance to spam the comments with a link to your blog. It is a good post and I read it awhile back but is it necessary to call everyone on here crazy?
The gist of the argument is that he endorses sexual violence and the debasing of women. His intention doesn’t matter, and I agree that he didn’t do it on purpose (Nobody is going to write an article about how they’re a rapist) but his “apology only made things worse because he shows no understanding of why people are offended by this. Since you don’t understand, and make no attempt at doing so, my reply is probably just falling on deaf ears.
Thanks for the list of what I’m allowed to be bothered by. It really clears things up
It’s funny that while clearly no editor with a clear grasp of English grammar has bothered to check these articles, the comments on these pages are heavily monitored and edited. You guys are morons.
Mr. Surette,
I am assuming that this column was a suggestion, possibly an order, by your ediors, adivisors or other influential members at your university. Perhaps I am assuming too much, and you had a change of heart all by yourself and felt that it was a moral obligation to correct your flaws.
As a college newspaper columnist who is currently going through a similar experience, I have to say, I am dissapointed in you. This is not to say I am questioning your writing or character. The way I see it, you wrote about a topic discussed by both men and women in college that occurs very frequently, more than most will admit.
My column talked about one night stands and some of the personal experiences I have had regarding them. My language was a bit “over the line” I’ll admit, although not all of it was quite as edgey as yours, haha (I was impressed at your previous column, btw, and did not stop laughing until long after I finished reading it). 3 weeks later, i am still receiving feedback on it, both positive and negative.
One of my favorites was a writer who said, “do the world a favor and never write anything again.” I was impressed by yours though. I did not have anyone cussing at me, and although i go to a small school,i thought 18 comments was alot. Touche’ my friend.
I am dissapointed in your apologetic response however, because i wonder if you have forgotten why you have editors. They are there to correct the terrible rubbish we write in a drunken state of genius on the night of layout. It is for that reason that i have felt no need to apologize for any of my printed writing, and I hope you would realize the same.
I assume that if you continue writing for your university paper, that your writing,like mine to come, will be closely monitered and edited. Let us not allow that to stop our creativity. My editor-in-chief said that my article about one night stands did what a story is supposed to do, start a conversation.
I will leave you with that, and one more thought. My favorite positive comment i received about my article, even now, still cheers me up on any bad day…
“This article should be posted on the refrigerater of America for all to marvel at it’s truth and wisdom.”
Stop apologizing, print your column, and put it on your fridge. I would put it on mine, but it already has my results from the STD checks i got after my one night stands( they were negative, btw