Dear Students, Faculty, Staff, Alumni, and others this may concern,
I am writing this letter to express my deepest apologies due to my last weeks “He Said” article. I understand that my poor choice of words has offended and upset many that are apart of Fairfield University. I am honestly embarrassed by my language. My intention was not to offend people; however, I was trying to write a satirical, humorous piece. I realize how my words crossed the line between comedy and being offensive.
In the past week, I have overheard many people feeling that my article was promoting rape and violence against women, and that idea could not be more wrong. I understand that a few of the words I used could have been easily used to create this idea. However, for those who know me, they would tell you that I have the total opposite view on this subject. This idea has made me sick and I truly apologize if that notion was perceived from my article.
Also, I would like to make clear that even though my language has been derogatory against women, I truly do not feel this way about them. For those of you who do not know, last semester I was the only guy in a feminism literature class called “The Women Question.” I do respect the ideas of feminism and women’s rights, even though it may not be perceived in my writing.
You may be thinking, ‘why would you write this way without meaning this?’ and the reason is because you must understand the point of the “He Said/She Said” articles. Being “He Said,” as Tom Cleary pointed out in the letter from the editor, is a role. I am playing a character and I am acting. It is truly an entertainment piece.
My goal is to write about the ideas that your typical 18-22 year old college male thinks and speaks with putting a humorous twist on it. These articles are not meant to be taken literally. In saying this, I do understand that I crossed the line this past week and apologize for this.
Thank You,
Chris Surette ’10 “He Said”
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Apology accepted. Let’s move on already, this is becoming too much of an issue. Do I agree with what you said? No. Do I support the first amendment and the Mirror? Yes. The same thing happened with Opie and Anthony, Imus and past He Saids
The protest groups had their say and the Mirror responded well with a discussion. Enough is enough. Drop it already.
Hey, I read the other piece. Rape?!! Violence? Where?
True, I have some problems with the writing style, but that is because it is not as well written as it could have been – like something in cracked.com or collegehumor.com This kind of bombast is actually self deprecatory, and not a call to violence and rape.
What you have said there is standard pretend-male chauvnist stuff – the kind that has been funny for twenty years or more. It is funny because it is obviously not believable in those terms anymore. Read some of the stuff in girls’ sites these days?
Those people who take this kind of stuff need to really read a lot more on the internet. Which backwaters do they come from?
People should relax a bit.
I don’t agree that your article promoted rape pr violence, it was just a very, very poor use of column space.
In a time when journalism is dying and the very fabric of it is being torn apart, you wrote a humor column glorifying a crappy double standard that has unfairly existed for decades?
Don’t apologize and don’t say it was for entertainment purposes. The whole “it was a role” crap doesn’t fly, either. Try reprinting an article from the Onion next time.
So all college males 18-22 think about date raping and humilating women? Awesome!
Also, I like how you “respect” sexual equiality. You “respect” it but don’t support it or consider yourself a feminist.I guess you missed the day where they discussed the meaning of feminism in your women’s studies class. Hint: it means someone who supports sexual equality.
Oh, and if men have been making the same “jokes” from the last 20 years? Maybe it’s time to get some new material – 20 year old jokes are a little stale.
“with putting a humorous twist on it. ”
So that aspect of the column begins second semester?
“For those of you who do not know, last semester I was the only guy in a feminism literature class called “The Women Question”"
That’s like saying, “I’m not racist because I have a black friend!”
Regardless, the most upsetting aspect of this whole thing, is that this turd will eventually have a diploma from the same institution as me.
Time for another one after “The Walk of Shame”. Someone fire this guy and get him off the staff at the Mirror.
Honestly, given all the uproar from your column, and given the fact that your articles aren’t that funny (I peeked at a few more) or grammatically correct, I don’t understand how you’re still writing this column. I get what you’re attempting to do with this column (and apparently it has a “rich” history at Fairfield), but when it’s done badly it just comes across as terrible and ignorant. Your “satire” just kind of makes you look like a huge douche, and I don’t see why you would want to look like a huge douche on a regular basis (or why Fairfield would want to allow a huge douche stereotype to perpetuate, even if it is supposed to be good humored).
I assume you aren’t a huge douche, because I heard from facebook that you actually went to my high school. It’s hard to believe that though since you’re writing something as vulgar as this. What’s that motto of ours, “in harmony small things grow?” Well it’s kind of hard to be harmonious when kids are regularly reading and laughing at the negative stereotypes that your written persona takes on.
Final thought – TAKE DOWN THE WALK OF SHAME ARTICLE SO THAT PEOPLE STOP TRASHING YOU. All that article can do is hurt you, both now and in your future career when businesses google search you and come across it. For the sake of yourself, and your school, and Saint John’s, and everyone, take down the Walk of Shame article. There is no reason why it should still be up.
Chris – Although I think your columns require better grammar and better material, I can see how you were trying to say what some guys say (”He Said”) and not necessarily reflect your own thinking or what you say. However, we do live in a world where things of this nature live forever on the internet and context gets lost when disseminating information on blogs. In the future, have a disclaimer, or even better pick better topics. I would also advise to volunteer at some women’s center or sexual assault programs as a better way to show remorse than a simple apology in writing.
Hopefully, this doesn’t ruin your career. Good luck.
“For those of you who do not know, last semester I was the only guy in a feminism literature class called “The Women Question.” I do respect the ideas of feminism and women’s rights, even though it may not be perceived in my writing.”
Oh yeah, I bet you also have one gay friend and so you can’t be a homophobe either right?
Poor column, poor response. Shut this guy DOWN already.
“In the past week, I have overheard many people feeling that my article was promoting rape and violence against women, and that idea could not be more wrong…”
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The funny part about this is you aren’t taking any responsibility for your article. You are just telling people that they perceived it the wrong way. I DO think that one day you will regret writing that piece, but until then don’t apologize because it makes you look even more ignorant.
Also: for something to be an “entertainment piece” is has to be entertaining. What “humorous twist” can you put on rape? What is the statistic? 1/4 of women are sexually assaulted at some point in their lives. Do you know that your mother/grandmother/sister/aunt/cousin/niece is not one of them? Ask every woman close to you if she has ever been sexually assaulted and then have them read your article… then tell them you’re sorry they took it the wrong way.
Good luck with the lawsuit Chris!
This is one half a**ed apology. He apologises for “poor choice of words”. That’s pretty much all he really says he’s sorry for.
He’s doesn’t say “I was wrong”. The fact remains that his words are some of the most disgusting, ignorant, misogynistic drivel I’ve ever heard. I finally understand what kind of feelings drive people to send hate mail.
He does not apologise for calling a woman on a walk of shame “your victim”. He calls refers to the hook up the guy takes home as a “hood rat”. Only a skank would go back to a dorm room for a one night stand. . .? Uh. . . what does that make the guy doing the same thing???
This guy is one epic fail as a man.
“For those of you who do not know, last semester I was the only guy in a feminism literature class called “The Women Question.””
SO this was the one man who enrolled in a class that touches on sexual equality, and he churns out this misogynistic drek, then tries to pass it off as “satire”? God help your University.
If you didn’t feel that way about women, then why did you put your name to an article promoting sexual violence against women?
LOL on the “I can’t be sexist because I took a Women’s Studies class once” defense. Get real, dude.
Your “apology” is not one at all. It’s the “sorry you got offended” (which actually blames the people you’re apologizing to for getting hurt) fake apology.
Grow up and actually admit that you were completely wrong.
Kid,
You’re not a writer, so there is really no need to defend your work. The proper apology would be to say you made a colossal mistake and that you are resigning from The Mirror in order to cleanly end the episode and avoid the publication and school any further embarrassment. Then everyone will just give you a Mulligan. What college student hasn’t lost his or her mind at some point in their four years.
Don’t know if you have visions of having your byline on espn.com, the New York Daily News, or Deadspin in the future. It is not happening. Just move on from it. Resign today and start rebuilding your reputation.
“My goal is to write about the ideas that your typical 18-22 year old college male thinks and speaks with putting a humorous twist on it.”
So apparently, typical 18-22 year old men are into sexually humiliating women and enabling rape? Awesome!
Yeah, just digging yourself a deeper hole dude.
I’m sorry but I read that and there was no use of the word rape. While his diction describing the one night stand process was not the most tactful he never enabled rape. Seriously step back for one second and ask your self is there really an argument that he is talking about rape or that one could feel harassed by this statement. Most people read the article, laughed, and went on with their life. Why don’t you try doing the same.
@ A Fairfield U student:
Just because the writer didn’t use the word “rape” does not mean he didn’t condone it in his article (whether it was his intention or not).
For example, he refers to the woman as “your victim.” Please tell me, Mr. Smartypants: what is another word for a sex act with a victim? (Hint: Rape).
He talks about having sex with a women, whom he expresses hate for, while she is drunk, and he does not care how she feels about it. How can you not understand that when it is so transparent? You should take a step back and reread the article again if you missed all that.
At least Chris was being “satirical,” unlike George Sodini.
I guess I really don’t understand the mindset that is behind an article like that. Why, exactly, should a woman feel that she is performing a “Walk of Shame”? Not too many married women in college, and as long as they’re single they are entitled to play the field. Likewise, why it is a victory for a man to have consensual sex with a woman?? Regardless of what you say, that is a rapist mindset- sex equals victory for men, humiliating defeat for women. I do believe you meant it in a humorous way, i.e. you think an egregious sexual double standard used to undermine women is funny. I feel bad for your girlfriend(s) but after looking at your picture I doubt there are many. Perhaps your lack of success contributes to your hostility against women.
“My intention was not to offend people; however, I was trying to write a satirical, humorous piece.”
Okay, where is the “satirical” or even “funny” part? It isn’t uncommon for a person nowdays to say something racist or sexist, whatever, then use the satire defense. So you’re nothing special in that regard (or any other, apparently). But people – with satire, you’re supposed to state a position then proceed to mock it while pretending to support it. There is no mocking, no bits of irony making it clear he disagrees with the position. It’s just something saying sexually humilliating women, or “victims” and “sluts”, is both fun and common. You really wanted to put that out there? Because that is what teaches men that rape is okay without actually saying it. Whether you wanted to or not.
Instead of telling everybody, including women who have to live this everyday (you don’t have to. Lucky you.), we took it wrong, why don’t you read about violence and rape culture and actually take into consideration what critics say? Scum.