Stag-style Commitment: Girl’s End
I’ve said to friends before that if I did not come to Fairfield with a serious relationship already under my belt, I would not be at Fairfield.
Why? Because the “accepted” male and female attitudes and beliefs on campus are really messed up. But really, what has happened to Fairfield students? Are we really different from other colleges in that the dating scene is completely defunct?
Not really. Talking to friends at other colleges, these same problems transpire all the time.
Alcohol certainly plays a role, making all of your competition drunk, sloppy, and most importantly, easy. And, let’s not forget, Fairfield was just voted No. 3 for amounts of hard liquor according to the Princeton Review. Correlation, anyone?
But you may argue, it isn’t the culture — it’s just that these men are too young to even care about getting into a relationship now. I honestly don’t believe that age is a factor — we all want to be loved, women AND men. Men just don’t admit it as much; they are more concerned with appearance to their friends than to the women they only see at parties, and rightfully so. You do not want to interfere with a bromance.
Both you and I know couples at Fairfield and 60 percent of Fairfield grads marry within the Fairfield alum circle. Although many Fairfield couples may not be perfect, they do exist. There are guys here who can commit.
So is it possible that it’s the ladies faults that they can’t? Maybe some of us are just too slutty to make guys understand the perks of being in a real relationship. If they don’t have to work for it, they won’t.
I can attest to the fact that men our age, although they may be hard to find, can commit. They exist. Maybe the 55/45 women to men percentage isn’t working in our favor, but we can overcome this. So let’s look at how we can increase the numbers of relationships on campus.
Stop being so slutty. While you’re at it, try to get your friends to stop being slutty, too. It doesn’t really come off as “I’m serious about getting married at 25.”
If you want to be in a relationship, the last thing you want to do is bring all your hot, promiscuous friends around the guy you want. Maybe you have the urge to test them and see if they still will pick you out of the crowd, but I don’t really think this will work in your favor.
Don’t interfere with the bromance. Give the guy some space. I might talk to my guy three times a day at most. It’s a good thing.
Go on a real date with the guy. Getting drunk and showing up at some guy’s townhouse completely wasted doesn’t really scream “girlfriend material.” If a guy wants to commit, he won’t want to date someone he thinks is a complete fool. Although it may be weird to ask a guy out, that’s how I got my boyfriend, and we’ve only been together for five years.
Better yet, just go on a day date. Yeah, we’ve all seen the movie “Just Friends,” that brings shame to the day-daters. But at Fairfield, when most think the only option at night is to get wasted out of their mind, a day date may be just the thing to hook your man in.
Don’t be afraid to call, text, BBM, Gchat, and the list goes on. I hate AIM, or any other thing besides actually calling a person up and hearing their voice, but I’ll say this — don’t analyze your texts for 10 hours before sending them. The guy is supposed to like you for you. Sending contrived, researched text messages is not the answer. Just don’t be afraid of being vulnerable. Sending a sober, genuine text is probably a lot less embarrassing than having a drunken hook-up.
If all else fails, and I’d be surprised if they did, transfer.
I probably would have.