“Paranormal Activity 3” Disappoints

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*Major Spoiler Alert*

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I owe “Paranormal Activity” the credit for making me fall in love with paranormal thrillers. Seriously, I’ve never been able to pee my pants with excitement and fear at the same time, so thank you, “Paranormal Activity” writers.

When I saw “Paranormal Activity 2”, I wasn’t very afraid. I mean, how many times can they make things move on their own without the audience predicting it beforehand? But I was impressed by the relation it had to the first movie. It was kind of like Star Wars, where the writers decided to give us the middle action in the first movie and then explain what the heck was happening in the second movie.

Here’s an overview: Katie and Kristi are sisters. When Kristi, the younger sister, has a son, weird things start happening at her house and she becomes possessed. Kristi’s stepdaughter discovers that people make deals with the devil for fortune in exchange for their next newborn son, and assumes Katie and Kristi’s grandmother made a deal with the devil. When Kristi becomes possessed, Kristi’s stepdaughter and husband send the force to Katie with voodoo magic crap, who knows. Then weird things start happening at Katie’s house and guess what? Katie becomes possessed by the demon, kills Kristi and Kristi’s husband and takes their son.

Imagine my excitement for “Paranormal Activity 3”, the movie that would reveal all! The movie that would show why Katie and Kristi had blocked out their demonic pasts, why their mother went crazy, and why their house got burnt down. The trailers would appear on television and tease me to no end. Oh! Kristi throws water in the air and it shows the outline of the demon! Oh! Kristi and Katie play Bloody Mary and there’s a figure behind them! Oh! Their house is on fire!

Guess what? None of those scenes shown in the trailers are even in the movie! None. It’s 10 minutes of pop out scenes and creepy faces, and 70 minutes of build up to said scenes. You will spend those 70 minutes curled up in your seat, cringing, your heart pounding, and your hands covering and uncovering your eyes until something very small and stupid happens, like a lamp breaks.

At the end of this movie, you will say to yourself: 1) Wait, it’s over? 2) I don’t get it. 3) What’s the point of the grandmother? And most importantly, 4) Why did the cute guy have to die?

I watched the credits, hoping that there was an extra bit at the end to explain all my answers but, nope. It was over. I left the theater with the same questions I came into the theater with, absolutely fuming with anger and disappointment.

My advice is this: save yourself the $10.25 and wait until it comes out on Netflix. Hopefully the rumored “Paranormal Activity 4″ will finally give us answers.

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