It’s not profound to say that guys are not particularly mature at this stage of life. My guy friends, of course, argue vehemently against such a slanderous accusation. They maintain that the continuous female nagging, complaining and obsessive talking are the true signs of immaturity. To argue these points would be seen by my male readers (I hope I do have some) as hearsay. Instead, I’ll therefore take an alternative approach and merely present the behavioral patterns of my male college peers that I find reveal their innate level of maturity.
Exhibit A. It is apparently cool for college guys to throw things out windows, or to try and light the occasional flame retardant object on fire. A brief glance at “Campus Crime Beat” every week illustrates this point. 3:02 a.m.: Vending machine in Regis found turned over on male student…the case is still under investigation. 4:15 a.m.: Stuffed animal found on fire in the Regis traffic circle…case is suspected to be three male students.
Exhibit B. Respect is gained among guy friends when one individual defies all that is natural and holds the most foods in his mouth. Guys seem to have an endless amount of creativity when finding items for their stuffing competitions. It is also important to note that this “talent” is never limited to the intimate environment of the residence halls. Several of my male friends have extended this pasttime to airplanes (hey, the air pressure could change things), Barone, and other eateries.
Exhibit C. My male colleagues see the world as one giant toilet bowl. I have seen guys letting loose on everything from alarm clocks to elevators. Side note, it also apparently never gets old to pretend to piss on things. As a result, holding a hose up to the crotch will forever remain hysterical.
Exhibit D. College guys habitually stare at the chests of females and then point to ones that are big. Now I’m sure many classify this as a sign of maturity, but I have stopped laughing every time I hear the word “penis” and never thought it necessary to point to guys’ packages.
In all honesty ladies, lets not kid ourselves by saying that we don’t (from time to time) enjoy guys putting on a show for us. In guys’ defense, they have plenty of time to be responsible and serious later in life… an ambush of water balloons here and there can still be cute.
Leave a Reply