Dear Dee,
My roommate and I get along really well and have become really good friends. She has a boyfriend who I really like as well, but unfortunately, it seems almost every night of the week I am getting sexiled. I would confront her, but I don’t want to come off as selfish, or hurt her feelings. What do I do?
— Sexiled Stag
Dear Sexiled,
Oh, the joys of college! Being able to see your boyfriend every day, sleep overs whenever, it all certainly has its perks!
That is, if you aren’t the roommate who is asked to leave and find something to do while your roommate and her boyfriend have their fun … But it seems like we all have an understanding of this in college, and can respect that time alone with your significant other is extremely important, as it seems that you too understand.
It doesn’t mean, though, that the subject matter is always easy to talk about, especially if it’s almost every night of the week. If you and your roommate are as close as you say (I believe you, don’t worry), than I truly believe she will understand where you are coming from if you tell her what you just told me.
Friendship is always a two-way relationship; you are understanding enough to give her and her boyfriend space when they need it, and if she really is a good friend, she’ll hear your request for a little more time in your room instead of wandering the halls, with open ears.
And girl, I promise you that it will come off as anything but selfish. She will be happy you brought it to her attention. Because you are so easy going when she asks for time, she may not have picked up on the reality that it was bothering you.
If you aren’t sure how to approach it, try to give her options of how you can work around each other’s schedule. This way, you show her that you do understand — that you’re okay with having to leave sometimes, but that she might have to make some compromises too.
I can bet that your roommate will appreciate the fact that you are comfortable and trust her enough to approach her about a possibly messy situation! (No pun intended …) As the wise saying goes, “Chicks before …”
Disclaimer: This column is for entertainment only. The author is a student, not a licensed therapist, and this column is not intended to take the place of professional advice. The views expressed are the author’s and are not necessarily shared by The Mirror or its staff.
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