Have you ever wondered what is going on inside the minds of the campus turkeys? The seemingly growing abundance of them and their increasing boldness have led students to question what could be going on with them. For this exclusive report, the Coffee Break Team was able to uncover that there is a political reason behind the turkeys’ rallying. According to an anonymous source who would prefer to keep his feathers, the Fairfield University Turkey Association elections are on the horizon!
Turkeys who wish to have their names on the FUTA ballot are asking their gobbling friends for signatures and answering questions about their philosophies and what they will do for the turkey population as a whole if they were to be elected. One of which is to end the serving of turkey-based dishes in the Daniel & Grace Tully Dining Commons. Meanwhile, turkeys who aren’t running are trying to decide who they will vote for, convening with their friends and discussing the options. The competition has yet to start, but the race for signatures is no joke. The turkeys plan on holding a debate on Thursday, Feb. 21, after which polls will open at 8 p.m. This happens to be the same date and time as the Fairfield University Student Association debate and election, so mark your calendars.
Fairfield University students of all classes could take a page out of the turkeys’ book. There’s no harm in asking candidates about their values and plans for the future before signing your name on their petitions. The more students know about their future FUSA government, the better.