So after flirting with a young swan at a party, you invite her back to your place and she accepts. The road to pleasure town begins and as Johnny Drama would say, VICTORY! Congrats boys, not only did you get laid, but you have a great story for the rest of your life.
Not only is it a story for you and your boys, but others will soon realize what happened when they see your victim walking back to the dorms in her dress from last night, with a disgraceful look on her face as if she was robbed of her dignity.
But girls, even though many may consider you a slut after witnessing your glorious Walk of Shame, just realize that you have given this lucky guy a story he can share with others at the Grape for the rest of the year. We ought to thank you for that. And hopefully you got something out of this to … actually, we don’t really care.
But in order to achieve success, we need to understand a few tips of advice to become a champ. First and foremost, right when you wake up, get out of there. There is nothing worse than the awkward wake up next to a girl, who is not as hot as you thought she was when you were 12 deep the night before. Not only that, it is kind of embarrassing when you smile at her and call her Julie, when her name is actually Ashley. Plus you don’t want to find out she’s a stage five clinger because that pounding you gave her last night will turn into a pounding headache for you for the next couple of weeks.
Second, even though you might feel like the man for doing it, make sure you don’t raw dog it.
Let’s be real, we are too young to have a little mini-me running around. I would rather enjoy my college years drinking my face off and having to clean my own vomit, than cleaning the vomit of 16 month infant. Also, if you can’t remember her name, there is a very good chance you don’t know much about the broad. Trust me, you don’t want that hood rat giving you a venereal disease. Not because half are not curable, but the next time you try to bang and that little cutie sees that rash around your genitals, she’s going to be running for the fences. Listen guys, gonorrhea is a serious disease. So don’t be a fool and wrap your tool.
Now if you follow these tips, the next time you do work, you’ll have a tale to tell your buds for years. Remember to be ruthless and have no shame.
We are relying on each other for an entertaining story that is both hilarious and humiliating. Just remember one thing; her walk of shame is an induction into your hall of fame.
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‘Ruthless and with no shame’ -words of a terrorist
In and of itself, your article is an insulting look into your archaic value system and reflects the misguided belief that all controversy is inherently valuable. The idea that your platform in this newspaper is acceptable because it serves to speak for a community of like-minded men is about as valid as the idea that any hate propaganda deserves a voice if it has an audience. Besides inciting complete disrespect for women, your words represent massive social dysfunction and illuminate the sensibility of the lowest common denominator. They are indicative of someone who has no ability to relate to women on a human level, and portrays the thought-process of a potential sexual predator, abuser or more. And no. That doesn’t change because you were trying to be funny.
For future reference, the following is a list of words that are unacceptable to publish in reference to women being fucked, unless as satire –
THE LIST:
swan
victory
victim
slut
broad
hood-rat
not-as-hot-as-you-thought-she-was
that-pounding-you-gave-her
bang-that-little-cutie
her-walk-of-shame
Chris I love that you wrote this because it is so true to the college experience. I see it all the time at Assumption. People are only offended because they are ashamed that it has happened to them. They made that choice, you’re just writing about it. Freedom of speech is your right. The piece is funny and very truthful. People will always critize you no matter what your opinion is so don’t listen to all these people just keep writing. I bet if you wrote a book about this material it would be a best seller. As people hate this other love it.
Mr. Surette,
“What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”
Speaking of Mr. Surrette’s mother, I wonder if she ever walked the “walk of shame”? How about his sister? Or grandmother?
Shame on you, Mr. Surrette. Every woman who loves you has been shamed and humiliated right along with you.
What I find disconcerting about this debate in the media — including the SPJ offer to mediate, and the editorial and news stories in the area papers which beat the First Amendment drum — is that no one has bothered to ask where the faculty adviser was in all this, not to mention the editors. Quite simply, if this happened at another paper, someone would be fired for lack of judgment. And that is the opinion of a former journalist. The paper probably needs more mature and intelligent oversight.