She Said: A guide to surviving the weekend

It’s Sunday night and you are sitting around with your friends feeling confused, groggy, embarrassed and hung over from the weekend’s extravaganzas. As college students, we will never completely avoid awkward encounters and humiliating traps, but let’s take some time to look back and laugh at just how crazy we can get.

Most likely, the last thing on your mind when you decided to go home with the cutie from your Monday morning math class was that magical piece of plastic called your StagCard. Too bad because there is nothing more embarrassing then waiting outside of the dorm in your outfit from last night, wishing that someone would walk down the stairs and open the damn door. Most likely you will be let in by some chain smoker coming outside to get their nicotine fix.

Seniors, you have the luxury of not needing a StagCard to regain entry into your beach house, but I have some advice for you too. We live in a small area, and in a weird way, it’s comparable to being on campus. Don’t leave pieces of clothing at the hook-up location. You will have to go back in the morning (while passing many suspicious bystanders) to retrieve your belongings, causing for uncomfortable sober encounters with your late night lover.

Everyone knows that one cure for a hangover is greasy breakfast food. Have any of the seniors noticed that the Deli is like a mini Barone? You see the same people every morning, in their pajamas, dragging themselves to the nearest source of eggs and Gatorade. If you have a hickey on your neck or if you’re still in your heels, save yourself the hassle and just stay at home. The Barone workers and the Deli guy will probably make fun of you.

So if you still can’t shake the unsettling feeling that you did something embarrassing on Saturday night, just relax and file it under the ‘you live and you learn’ department. Odds are the situations will become more hilarious as the year progresses.
So look at Sunday as a holy day – spend it praying that your one night stand doesn’t show up to class on Monday morning.