Dear Tully,

It’s not you, it’s me.

I hate to write this in a letter in the Mirror instead of telling you in person, but this is how things have to go. We had a good run, but to be honest, cuffing season is over and I’m ready to spread my wings and explore other ventures.

At the beginning of the school year, it was refreshing to come back to you. You provided me with an endless supply of food at all times and allowed me to have some fun moments with my peers. However, all good things must come to an end.

All of the things I overlooked at the beginning of our relationship became too difficult to ignore. Why is your soft serve machine broken 90 percent of the time? Why must you put me through the physical pain I feel in my body when I bite into a tendon in my grilled chicken? I hate to say it, but I need better. I deserve better.

I know you are not perfect and neither am I. You have provided for me in my times of most need, such as after a day spent at Lantern Point. I could always count on you to provide me with a hot slice of greasy pizza after a day on the beach. You were there for me when I was stress eating french fries through midterms and finals. You didn’t judge me when I filled my entire plate with bacon and hashbrowns.

Of course, it wasn’t always bad. Your omelette station will always have a place in my heart. I will never forget our wonderful theme nights, such as Carnival Night where you had cotton candy waiting for me after a long day. The warm and kind people who work tirelessly and still have a smile on their faces are always something I will be grateful for.

As the semester winds down, you will be seeing much less of me, I’m afraid. I just can’t do it anymore. I would rather eat the grass outside of the Barone Campus Center than have one more rubbery scrambled egg. I wish you well. May your soft serve machine always work for years to come.

 

With love,

The Coffee Break Team

 

A list of alternative ON CAMPUS places to eat

  1. Einstein Bros Bagels – Shove a bagel and caffeine in your mouth, it’ll do
  2. The Stag Snackbar – Flatbread. Always.
  3. Your dorm room – Cry and eat some cheerios your mom bought you
  4. DiMenna Nyselius Library – Stress eat a bag of chips from the vending machine

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