Dear Meg,

I feel like I’m having a hard time transitioning into college and it’s not because I’m not making friends or doing well in school. To be honest, it’s because I don’t own enough Vineyard Vines.

I only own enough Vineyard Vines clothing to last me a few days and I don’t even own a belt. At this rate, I’m going to have to wear the same things every week which apparently isn’t socially acceptable.

What do I do?

Sincerely,

Feeling whale-y out of place

Dear whale-y,

Transfer. This school is known for two things: Clam Jam and Vineyard Vines. You need Vineyard Vines clothing to really have the Fairfield Experience.

I recommend taking out a student loan to pay for the clothing because you NEED it. I recommend owning 20 shirts, 15 pairs of colorful pants, a nice vest, the whale belt and a couple ties to top off the wardrobe.

It may be pricy but it’ll be well worth it.

Always keeping it real,

Meg

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