HE SAID

It happens time and again, the freshman girl/senior guy “phenomenon…” One may ask why? I respond: because freshman girls are stupid and fun. You can’t really blame them though. I mean, senior guys are the alpha males of campus. We stand out, we’ve lived college for longer then any of the others. We deserve the attention.

I asked several people about this phenomenon, and they gave mixed responses. Some wondered if they really were as stupid as they act, or maybe they were just acting stupid, feeling scared and lonely and looking for attention from the “alpha” men on campus. I think it’s mostly that they are dumb. I’ve heard several amazing comments from them from “My mommy told me not to drink beer… hehe” to (at 3:50 a.m., Thursday night, very slurred) “I have an 8:00 tomorrow.”

They are fun though, something new, people you don’t know, fresh and untainted by years of college life like the rest of us are. Plus by talking to them, the other upperclassmen girls become furious, knowing now how much they were hated their freshman year. I can remember being at the Naut last year at a girl’s house. At 11:30 the music would stop and a shrilly yell would go through the air, “All right, if I don’t know you, get out!” The only people this rule would ever be enforced on would be freshman girls.

There’s something really funny, which I’ve seen a couple times this year at girl’s houses, where one of the girls who live there gives the “evil, I hate you” look. Then she’ll look at the group of three freshman girls and says through her teeth “You Need to Leave Now” (Undertow)

Not all the girls are like this though. In fact I know some, not many, but some senior ladies who specifically pick out freshman. I’m reminded of a certain story, of a senior girl and a freshman guy, during my freshman year. Anyone who remembers “Flash Gordon” (RP) will laugh. It seems that there are always several who engage in this practice. I think they like the idea of being the dominant one in the “relationship.”

All in all it’s an inevitable practice. Oh yeah, Lugo says, “all hot freshman gurlies are welcome at The Turtle.” Anyone of course looking for a more emotional and meaningful relationship is advised to stay away from the beach.

Freshman: You will get drunk off of a $10 bottle of Dubra and kool aid only to get written up by your R.A. Sophmores: you will get your bad fake I.D. taken away at the Sports Page. Juniors: you stink. Seniors: see you at The Grape.

“Party on Wayne.”