HE SAID: Times are changing and more and more men and women are taking on the responsibilities of the opposite sexes and working jobs that traditionally have been reserved for one gender over the other. Male nurses and female soldiers, they fill a valuable void in society IF they are capable of doing the job at hand. Its cool and I’m cool with that, but there are certain things guys and girls do that I will never get over. Certain things that put a smile on my face because of how ridiculous the things are that should remain on the opposite side of the gender line.
I’m somewhat old-fashioned, so it is easy to see how I can be frustrated with girls with shorter hair than mine. Please girls, burn your bras or wear combat boots, but please don’t cut your locks. Sinead O’Connor should not be a role model.
Speaking of cutting hair, gentlemen, the only time you should pluck your eyebrows is if you have a serious uni-brow. You shouldn’t spend more time in the beauty salon than your girlfriend and you shouldn’t have more shapely brows than her. Be proud of being hairy, our cavemen ancestors were real men.
Ladies, what’s going on with the monster trucks some of you drive? Granted, no one except maybe an iron-worker from steel town named Brutus could get away with driving a big truck or SUV so you shouldn’t take one to the GAP. Fellas, speaking of the GAP, don’t drive Volkswagen Cabriolets. You aren’t a high school cheerleader. Get yourself anything but a serious chick mobile.
Gentleman, you might not want to admit to knowing all the lyrics to any of the boy bands’ songs out there. I am going to take a stab at this and guess that it doesn’t really attract the ladies. And ladies, knowing the lines to the opening music of any of the WWF wrestlers will make guys hesitant to cuddle with you, if you want that kind of stuff.
I have only touched upon certain things here and if you catch me at any given moment, I can rant for hours about stupid things like this. I’m just an old fashioned rhinoceros with a lot of testosterone flowing through my ice-cold veins. You don’t have to listen to me but give some thought next time you do what the opposite sex is supposed to do.
SHE SAID: I’ll admit it, growing up I was a real tomboy. I cried when I had to wear a bra and I was always the little girl chasing and beating up the boys (still am, I guess). So basically I’m attracted to a manly man, a real ball-breaker.
For me, any guy who involves himself in typical girlie activities has crossed the gender line. I think the stereotypical girl spends an hour plus in the bathroom. When she is finally ready, she waltzes out in a cute outfit complete with flawless hair and make-up. Definitely not me in the morning, but I think the scenario is pretty girl-generic.
Any guy who spends more time getting ready than me is out. I can’t stand a pretty boy constantly catching glimpses of himself in any mirror he passes. Maybe I’m a slob, but guys who obsess about their looks make me feel like I’m missing something.
I also have this weird thing against guys with pierced ears. For some reason, earrings on a guy freak me out. Oh and rings too. I don’t wear a ton of jewelry myself, so when a guy pimps it all over I feel less girlie.
I’m probably going to offend Fairfield’s finest, but it must be said. I hate when guys go to the tanning salon. There’s nothing hotter than a guy with color, but a guy who sports a fake, orange tan is awful. It’s actually worse than a girl that has an orange tan.
I’d definitely have to say the most inexcusable case of gender crossing is when a guy wears make-up. No, not mascara! I know there are guys out there who dabble with mom’s cover-up when they have a blemish. It is so incredibly obvious and it goes too far. Please, no man should ever wear Cover Girl.
I was just never high-maintenance, so guys who are drive me crazy. Guys that deep condition once a week and carry around a pocket mirror just scream feminine. When it comes down to it… I’d rather watch football (or whatever you consider ‘guy typical’) with a guy than sit at Pretty Nail and get manicures together. I just think guys should be guys.
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