The California gubernatorial recall election has lapsed into an odd limbo that is certain to keep the late night comics-and crappy college columnists-feasting on cheap jokes about Arnold Schwarzenegger and Gary Coleman.
For Coleman and Schwarzenegger, the bad news came early this week when an appeals court decided it would not be a good idea to have a major election with a great deal of national scrutiny and use the same controversial punch cards made infamous by the senile state, Florida.
In all likelihood, this will prove to be a temporary halt by the courts. And, sometime in the near future the recall election will resume. When that happens, the elephants and lion tamers can march back into the ring of their choice and resume the spectacle and competition for control of the weirdest state in the union.
This seems to be the way the peculiar legal and electoral system of the former Republic of California will play itself out. Unless, someone or some court realizes the danger of aging Hollywood has-beens, Never-was-its and Austrian body builders vying for the helm of one of the world’s largest economic entities.
The other interesting component of this election is the almost universal absence of experienced politicians, with the exception of the current Lt. Governor Yadda-yadda Bustafante. When you put this entire mess together you see a large and powerful state teetering near financial disaster with a clear leadership crisis.
Furthermore, if this recall provision remains a legitimate political maneuver, it is only a matter of time before another 50-year-old action star crosses from the limited thrills of stunts and well planned explosions to the fun and excitement of rolling-brown outs, wild fires and Los Angeles smog.
That’s right, Arnold, just because you might win this year doesn’t mean that the always plotting Sly Stallone or blue-collar hero Bruce Willis can not oust you in the summer of 2004.
Sound absurd? Californians have a long-standing tradition of ire against the existing government and ill-conceived revolts.
Captain John C. Fremont of the United States Army was sent to Mexican controlled California with sixty troops on a “scientific expedition.” Fremont’s mission was to promote turmoil between the Mexican authorities then in power and American settlers. Freemont spread a few politically motivated lies and inspired thirty settlers to attack a town under the control of Mexico.
Somehow, this band of laid-back settlers managed to take the town and after a rousing speech, William B. Ide was declared president of the new Republic of California by a band of a few dozen Americans.
You can plainly see that this is not the first time those kooky Californians have decided to drastically change their government on the whim of a few individuals.
If Gary Coleman wins, he will have a much easier time of solving the economic woes of California. Ide would be jealous of the cushy job Coleman would get to enjoy; for Ide – and a few of his closest friends – had to tell the government in Mexico City that he was now in charge of a vast swath of resources and some excellent surfing spots.
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