We all need friends to remain happy and healthy, an article from TIME magazine said. Within the article, Dr. Robin Dunbar describes studies in which she found that our brains can only hold connections with about 150 people, and our closest 15 friends and family are the most crucial to our well-being. So, we all need friends to survive. A social creature like a human being isn’t built to exist alone; we are designed to live in social groups. And with the simplicity of tapping a button on our phones, it really has never been easier to make friends in this day and age. But how much can we really count on these virtual friends? As nice as it may be to think that people on these social media platforms care about what we say, the people we encounter face-to-face on a daily basis are ultimately more important.
In the completely technological and social media dependent society that we live in, a lot of people put pressure and reliance on how many followers they have on Twitter and how many likes their #throwbackthursday post gets on Instagram. As nice as it is to be “liked” on social media, does it really matter? These followers don’t count in real life. We need to appreciate our real friends even while spending time in cyber space. We need to take time to put down our phones and actually appreciate our friends in real life because these are some of the most important relationships that we have.
It is completely possible to have real friends in this overly ambiguous social media age. For our generation, as much as our lives are conducted online, we must engage in our real lives particularly in overtly social settings like college. I know that I have to constantly participate in class, have meetings with professors and make new friends throughout campus. I have been able to create sustainable relationships and have close friends because, for the most part, I have to be around these people more than I have ever had to be around other people in my life before college.
The aforementioned study reinstates to me that we don’t need to rely on social media for friends because the ones that we meet and interact with in real life are more important. And while not everyone that we meet at the Townhouses that we give our Twitter handles out to are going to be friends for life, there are ample opportunities to make the friends that will always be there through good times and bad and will also be the first to retweet and like our online posts. However, there are surely people who use social media more for connections rather than for close friendships. For example, a lot of people, especially in the business world, may only use LinkedIn, which is only for “connections.” I am also “friends” with certain people on Facebook that I never really talk to in real life since they are basically “just in case I need to get in touch with you” types of friends. Recognizing that the people on your social media networks are more connections than friends is important; understanding the balance of real friends and “just in case you need to get in touch with them” friends is also crucial.
All of this is not to say that there aren’t people who rely on their follower count as a form of friendship, because those people do exist and I encounter them every day. I consider a person’s follower count more of a confidence boost than a reflection of them truly gaining friends since the way that most people interact on social media is superficial. But, I don’t think that gaining confidence in that way is necessarily a bad thing. I think the positive self-esteem that a person feels when getting the notification of a new follower can be viewed in a positive way. It is only concerning when those people that rely heavily on their social media following become harder to relate to because they are so wrapped up in their presence online. I know people who have become harder to have a conversation with, especially a conversation that doesn’t involve who said what on Twitter and who the last person who Snapchatted them was.
These people should count their real friends as more important. If they get too caught up in all of those virtual friends, they are at risk of losing their flesh and blood confidants and that would be unfortunate considering all of the benefits that real friends provide, like the comfort of a hug and a shoulder to cry on. So I recommend for everyone to take a step away from social media every once and a while and spend some time with those who are your real friends.
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