“South Park” has certainly had its share of controversial episodes and jokes. However, that is to be expected when one pushes the envelope so hard and often as they do. “South Park” is a satirical, adult cartoon centered around four young boys in a small town in Colorado, infamous for its crude language and dark, surreal humor that satirizes a wide range of topics. However, the past two seasons have drastically changed the traditional formula by implementing episode-to-episode continuity.

At the beginning of their 20th season, “South Park” focused on the presidential election. They brought back one of their old concepts used for the George W. Bush and John Kerry 2004 Presidential Election and refaced it for Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. The plot centers around the concept that every four years, we keep having to vote in an election between a Giant Douche and a Turd Sandwich.

The comparison is the perfect representation of our election and the choices that we have and if you truly believe that your candidate is wrongfully portrayed by this, then please read carefully. No matter what your opinions are of Trump and his policies, at the end of the day, he is a F***ing Douche. This is shown by him interrupting Clinton at any opportunity he was given during the debate to making ridiculous claims, only to deny ever making those claims. A stable Trump presidency is a longshot at best, undeniably in terms of foreign policy.

However, his domestic policies are what draw his appeal. During my semester abroad last spring, any opportunity that a European had to ask me about Trump, they took it. People do not understand how his campaign is even possible. Surely, all supporters of Trump can at least admit that their candidate is ignorant. If you won’t concede an ignorance of race relations, at least admit that he is ignorant of other people’s emotions such as with his “humorous” depiction of a disabled news reporter, who challenged one of Trump’s claims.

Meanwhile, if any metaphor captures the essence of Clinton, it is a Turd Sandwich. If you take a step back and look at Clinton from a broad perspective, all you see is bread. She is one of the most successful female politicians who has made a difference in all aspects of her political career. As a first lady, senator and secretary of state, her list of accomplishments seem endless. From this angle, she almost appears appetizing. However, once you look at her from a different angle, you will find that she is full of crap.

She lied through her teeth during the first debate when talking about her opinion and position on the Trans-Pacific Partnership. At the end of the day, trade deals are good for the economy, but trickle-down policies are rampant. The rich and powerful certainly get a bigger piece of the pie and Clinton has supported these types of trade deals throughout her political career. She has accepted so many donations from these groups; it’s unlikely that her position on trade deals will actually change. She has only changed her tone during election season because at the end of the day, I don’t think she cares about 80 percent of the general public’s concerns. Maybe it’s because only 20 percent of people’s concerns are required to run a nation.

One of her biggest problems is that she does not have any core values when it comes to her policy positioning. She essentially mimicked Bernie Sanders’ platform to win the primary, but now that she has won, she is dropping several key issues that she adopted from him. These include her anti-fracking policies, environmental stances and pullbacks with her free college tuition policy. Many supporters of the Giant Douche justifiably feel that Clinton has had a position in the game of politics for so long and as a result, she views our concerns as a game of votes. Who can blame them?

I am a firm believer in the phrase, “where there’s smoke, there’s fire.” In terms of scandals, both the Giant Douche and the Turd Sandwich have had more than their fair share. In fact, both of these candidates’ corruptions are so rampant that it’s surprising that both of them aren’t in jail.

The supporters of the Giant Douche can admit that their representative has had borderline criminal business practices with the Trump University scandal and long history of stiffing small businesses that he has dealt with. Several of his businesses operated more as scams with a Trump sticker of approval on them.

As for the Giant Turd supporters, they have to admit that their candidate is somewhat above the law, shown by her husband pardoning Susan McDougal, the person who went to jail for contempt of court after refusing to testify against the Clintons in the Whitewater scandal, to her own recent email scandal. If any one of us were under subpoena and officially being investigated by the FBI, we would not have the right to permanently delete tens of thousands of emails at our own discretion.

Even beyond the vague reasoning provided by the FBI, she still was not allowed to destroy two of the cell phones she sent emails on with a hammer. If any of us did either of those two things, it would not matter if we committed the crime or not because we would be spending the next 20 years in prison for tampering with evidence. The fact of the matter is that both of these candidates are masters of walking along the grey areas of lawmaking, thus, making it hard to prove and convict them for their actions.

The Giant Douche and the Turd Sandwich are truly running against the only person they could possibly beat in this election. Nearly every other Republican nominee, except for Ted Cruz, was projected to poll better than the Turd Sandwich while Clinton and Sanders polled significantly ahead of Trump in the primaries. Now, as things start to heat up in this presidential election, remember that it is more important for us to stand united within our communities and as a country than it is to ensure that either of these candidates win.

So if you are voting for the Giant Douche or the Turd Sandwich and you’re convinced that you have to do everything in your power to make sure that they win, do your best. Just remain self aware of who your candidate is and realize that some people will not vote for them no matter what and those people are not bad people for thinking that way.

As for who I am voting for, I am stuck due to my belief that it is important for the nation to change the political game to a three party system. Even though I am an Independent, I am the child of a hardened Libertarian. So for me, the best candidate to progress our nation and bring us together is Gary Johnson. However, with his own bowl of critiques, I couldn’t blame anyone who is favoring the Green Party’s Jill Stein. Nonetheless, remember that your vote matters and that you should vote for the person who you think will help make our nation the most stable, no matter if it is a Giant Douche, Turd Sandwich or a third party pick.

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