A particular aspect of human nature that tends to bother a lot of people – myself included – is this notion that we can simply look at others and have them all figured out by their appearance and nothing else. Comments like, “He’s wearing his socks halfway up his calves – major bro alert,” and “She is so scary skinny she must not eat at all,” are just insulting. We don’t know a thing about others and passing these judgments is mean and makes us look bad.
There is another level of this behavior that is truly a low move: looking at others and how they look – the way they move or talk, too – and deciding that you, a complete stranger, know what their sexual preferences are.
This is a much harsher and truly misguided type of judgment. Anything that is passed without knowledge about a person’s sexuality is unnecessary and only furthers the stereotypes that no one wants to be labeled by, but most people feel OK throwing them down on others.
Take the popular television show “Seinfeld” as an example. In the episode “The Outing,” a reporter working on an interview with Jerry comes to the conclusion that he is gay because, “He’s neat! He’s clean! He’s single! Must be gay – not that there is anything wrong with that!” After the quote came to life, Jerry and his friends began to use it regularly. To this day, a good-looking guy who dresses well will get called “gay” or “closeted.” Ever think maybe he just likes to look nice? Ever think that it has nothing to do with sex? That would be too easy.
A girl cuts her hair super short, like Miley Cyrus did earlier in 2011, and all of a sudden the “lesbo” and “dyke” comments come flooding. The fact that she cut her hair for charity and happened to like her new ‘do means nothing – she “looks” like a lesbian so now calling her one in a derogatory fashion is completely socially acceptable.
The way people style their hair, wear their clothes and live out their interests has nothing to do with who they love and what they do in the bedroom.
It’s going to take time for people to learn to drop these ridiculous beliefs. We are all guilty of having done the notorious “judging a book by its cover,” but let’s all take a moment and learn from it. There is so much more to a person and to their core than the way they look on the outside.
Girls who are athletes, girls with fuller figures, girls with short haircuts, girls who dress like tomboys – none of this ties into their sexuality. Guys who dress well, guys who are outgoing and emotional, guys who are in touch with their feminine side – none of this ties into their preferences. When did it become acceptable to associate looks with sexual identity? It’s not.
So unless you like being judged as someone you are not, stop doing it to others.
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