What’s really hot, cramped and awkward all at the same time? If you guessed a freshman dorm room in September, you are correct. It’s that time of year again; the Class of 2017 has taken over Jogues, Campion, Regis and part of Gonzaga halls, leaving childhood behind to take on this new lifestyle called college. So here it is, the glamorous life of living in halls with doors that slam and shoving our clothes into closets that are smaller than we ever could have imagined.
This is your chance to embrace the painfully awkward conversations shared in the lounges and the blasting music that echoes across the Quad and into your room right when you slip into your bed for a quick nap between classes.
Nothing is more exhilarating than when someone walks into the bathroom when you’re taking a shower. Inevitably one of two things will happen: The scalding water will burn a layer of skin off your body (which might be a good thing if you’ve already started working on the freshman fifteen) or you take a quick trip to Antarctica as you’re submerged in icy water, causing the hair on your legs that you just shaved off to instantaneously grow back.
Some of the halls are even lucky enough to have shower curtains that are notorious for falling down. Nothing says “nice to meet you” like having half of your body exposed to the entire bathroom mid-shower.
It seems that dorm living is everything we have ever dreamed of and so much more. Just think, your StagCard stops swiping you into others people’s dorms at a certain point in the night. It’s always great when you have to call your new friend you hardly know and ask them to come down from his or her fourth-floor dorm and let you in so that together you can read the 60-page article you were assigned for homework.
One of the most thrilling parts of dorm life is the unavoidable laundry room experience. On the average Sunday at noon, about 75 percent of freshmen decide to journey to take on the invigorating task of doing their laundry. The result is staying in that very room … forever.
You will also be faced with some philosophical questions. Is it rude to take out the clothes of the person whose washer finished a half hour ago? Is the rule about separating darks from lights legitimate? To what extent do you take the “hand wash only” tag seriously? Once all of that is figured out and your laundry is finally complete, only one more question is left: Is it dramatic if I take the elevator back to my dorm?
On the bright side, the first couple weeks consist of everyone pretending to be cool and completely normal so we can all look forward to discovering the horrible truth about these people we currently consider our new best friends.
What’s even better is that you’re sharing your “own dorm” with another freshman whom you were perfectly matched with almost solely based on the approximate time you go to bed and whether or not you think you’re a messy person. With so many things in common, you might as well promise to be each others’ bridesmaids or groomsmen now.
Take out your shower shoes and accept the embarrassing reality that you are a freshman and will be all year.
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