1. Women’s Lax: Best spring sports team?
Dan Akeson: It’s close between women’s lax and tennis. However, “best spring sports team” is a relative term. It’s like being the best curler in the winter Olympics. Who cares?
Mary Therese Church: Yes, and I’m calling a MAAC championship as well.
James Thompson: I’m tempted to ask if they play on campus but that is so last week. They may win a MAAC championship but will anyone be there to see it?
2. Baseball: On the rise or were wins just a fluke?
Dan Akeson: In order to rise, you have to be down and moving up, not just staying above water. A fluke is a strong term, and a fish. The fish are more entertaining.
Mary Therese Church: Are any of the MAAC baseball teams good? Because then saying we’re on a rise wouldn’t mean much.
James Thompson: A few nice wins, but on the rise? They have a “flounder”-ing chance at winning the MAAC. Bad fish pun, sorry.
3. Tougher job: Finding a new coach or walking?
Dan Akeson: Both are slippery. We have two feet and they are best used in tandem. However, whose shoes are bigger to fill: Gene Doris or Dianne Nolan?
Mary Therese Church: Since we have already found a new coach … apparently walking is harder.
James Thompson: Some people can’t walk and chew gum at the same time. Some people can’t walk and not break an ankle.
4. First NBA pick: Oden or Durant?
Dan Akeson: Durant. Oden is what, a 23-year-old freshman? If he were destined to be successful, Deng Gai would be in the NBA.
Mary Therese Church: Durant. But then again it is the NBA.
James Thompson: This NBA season isn’t even over yet and already we have to suffer through talking about next season? Oden is a man-beast.
5. Sean Avery: Better mouth or better shot?
Dan Akeson: Better player all around. The spark that has ignited my New York Rangers. His linguistics are complemented by his tough play. Yet, he dates Elisha Cuthebert. Bastard.
Mary Therese Church: Dan is the only person I have ever met who actually likes the Rangers … and since this is his last week, that’s the only reason we gave him this question.
James Thompson: I hope somebody stuffs an ice skate in his mouth. I think Dan wants to put his tounge in Avery’s mouth.
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