Spencer: ‘I had it, and I kicked its ass’

If you close your eyes and listen to Ted Spencer speak, you would never know the difference.

“A coach of mine once told me that you have a finite number of games in your lacrosse career, a finite number of games in your season,” he said in pure anecdotal form. “You’ve got to be up and ready like it is your last game.”

He paused and added, “You just never know.”

Most would consider it coaching rhetoric at its finest.

Then you open your eyes and see the man behind the words. You begin to suspect his words hold a far deeper meaning than that of sheer pregame enthusiasm.

And once you know the story, it is obvious that his words echo far beyond lacrosse; Spencer is speaking about life itself.

It was only a few months earlier that his fate was decided, not by slides on defense and clearing, but by the miracle of medicine and, as he put it, “the power of prayer.”

Initial diagnosis

It began with a harmless wager between two friends.

“[Men’s basketball Head Coach] Ed Cooley and I decided some friendly competition could be a great way to get back in shape,” recalled Spencer. “I was working out a lot.”

Fast-forward a few weeks.

It is Alumni Weekend in beautiful mid-October, and a crisp autumn wind whisks by Spencer as he finishes his second workout of the day.

It is just hours before Alumni Weekend festivities. This particular banquet had an extra special meaning to Spencer: He was to induct Spencer Steele ’00, the all-time scoring leader in Stags’ history, into the Fairfield Athletics Hall of Fame.

“I was [downstairs in the Walsh] after taking a shower, and I was ready to shave. I noticed a sizable lump on my neck,” said Spencer.

“This [swelling] seemed a little big to me,” said Spencer. “I went home and showed my wife. We immediately agreed that this is something that I should get checked out.”

Spencer and his wife, Denise, made an appointment with their primary physician for the next day. The doctor, however, was unsure as to the nature of the swelling or the cause of the lump.

Ultimately, the decision was to put Spencer on a severe antibiotic that could decrease the swelling in approximately 24 hours.

The hours came and went with no signs of change.

At this point, Spencer’s physician recommended a local ear/nose/throat specialist from whom he could receive a more thorough evaluation and, hopefully, a diagnosis. After an initial evaluation, the specialist recommended a biopsy.

Without hesitation, Spencer expressed his desire to have the biopsy as soon as possible.

The biopsy took place on Oct. 16, two days after Spencer had initially discovered the swelling. It also happened to be the same night as Fairfield’s lacrosse banquet, an annual dinner held to celebrate the season.

“The [biopsy] was extremely discomforting, but we still had the banquet that night,” said Spencer. “Business as usual.”

Fast-forward four days.

Spencer is on his way to pick up his children from school, an added perk that the autumn months bring.

“I got a call from the doctor with the results,” said Spencer. “He told me, ‘Ted, it’s cancer. Stage Three or Stage Four.'”

Breaking the news

“[The call] was very hard because you obviously don’t want a big reaction with kids around,” he recalled. “Immediately, though – without hesitation – we knew what we had to do. We were going to go at this right away.”

The series of events that transpired were a tumultuous flurry of emotions.

“I can honestly say that the hardest thing that I had to do in this entire process was to address the team,” said Spencer.

The coach took his players aside on the morning of Oct. 21, less than a day after the diagnosis.

“I told the team not to feel bad or sorry for me whatsoever,” recalled Spencer. “All I wanted for them was to be the best student-athletes and represent the lacrosse program as best they could.”

The team was in a state of disbelief.

From that moment forward, Spencer began a rigorous process to combat the tumor. Following recommendations from the ear/nose/throat specialist, Spencer and his wife began the process of researching potential surgeons and cancer specialists in New England. The two knew that aggressive treatment was essential and time was of the essence.

Treatment options

The Spencers decided on two physicians from Yale University Medical Center.

“It worked out for us. After our research, we found that Yale Medical is the leading place for neck cancer patients in America,” said Spencer.

Dr. Clarence Sasaki, F.A.C.S., the program director in otolarynthology and head/neck cancer surgery program, was the first selection and is “one of the top three surgeons in the world in dealing with this particular type of cancer,” according to Spencer. The other surgeon was Dr. Nwanmegha Young, another otolarynthology specialist.

Spencer and his wife met the two doctors at Yale on Oct. 23, only four days after receiving word of the diagnosis. Without hesitation, the doctors recommended a strategy that included a meeting with a tumor board a week later.

“On that day, we had a team of about 15 physicians examine me; it was honestly really impressive,” said Spencer.

Two weeks after the tumor board evaluation came surgery. The extensive nature of the surgery involved Sasaki and Young going in through the mouth to examine and work on the cancerous region of the neck. The team inserted 40 undifferentiated radiation seeds into the region.

“They took out a lymph node from my neck that was about three inches – and they’re supposed to be two centimeters,” said Spencer. “If that had somehow gone undetected and burst, the cancer would’ve spread.”

The lymph node was far from the only noteworthy finding in the surgery. The team of physicians discovered an enlarged, “golf ball-sized” tumor lodged in the tonsillar region.

Battling through recovery

While post-surgery life is often demanding and debilitating, Spencer remained optimistic. He insisted on the most powerful treatments possible in order to neutralize and eliminate the cancer.

“I wanted to get rid of this thing in the worst way,” he said.

The ensuing weeks were a challenge for Spencer in every facet of his life.

Family interaction was difficult because of his physical state. It was laborious to finish a bowl of Cream of Wheat. Drinking a glass of water was like trying to swallow a shard of glass. Two hours of sleep at night were an accomplishment.

This wasn’t just a day or two; it was nearly two months.

“[In] chemotherapy I lost close to 50 pounds,” said Spencer. “It was during Christmas season, too. I couldn’t take my family skiing or into New York to see the Rockefeller tree.”

Despite the hardships, Spencer never wavered.

In fact, the coach made it a point to make a statement about his health from the beginning.

Ten days after his surgery, Spencer participated in the Turkey Trot run with his family. On his first day of chemotherapy, he visited his team.

“I ran seven miles with the team,” said Spencer. “I wanted to send a message to all of them: ‘I’ll be fine.'”

With his rehabilitation coming to an end, Spencer has slowly returned to his normal routine as coach. Originally, he worked part-time days to accommodate his situation. With time, the hours increased.

After all the hours of treatment, the appointments, the days in rehabilitation, and the personal struggles, Spencer could finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

The long road back

Fast-forward to February 2.

Seventy-one days have passed since the surgery at Yale Medical. But health isn’t Spencer’s concern on this day.

Just like he had months before, Spencer jogged out of the Walsh Center on a brisk morning.

This time, he wasn’t alone.

And when his team accompanied him onto the field, it was more than just the season’s first scrimmage against Army. It marked Spencer reaching a goal he set when he first learned the news: Win this war and get back on the field.

“I never intended on dying from this disease,” said Spencer. “My attitude from the beginning was that I was going to beat this, and I am beating this. I had it, and I kicked its ass.”

Today, Spencer has had nothing but encouragement and excellent reviews from his physicians throughout his post-chemo check-ups, which are becoming less frequent. Doctors have labeled Spencer a “poster boy” for cancer recovery.

Still, Spencer maintains that it was far from a personal achievement.

“I have had tremendous support from my family, the lacrosse community, my team, the University,” said Spencer. “I knew that I was fighting through this thing myself, but the love I got from them made me want to beat this thing for all of them.”

If you’re looking for Spencer today, he is back on the field with his team, his pride and passion, and most importantly, a clear bill of health.

Back to business as usual; you would never know the difference.