It was in the middle of the storm when I first said it
And actually meant it.
It was pouring by then,
And I found myself right in the middle of it,
Getting soaked.
They tried to offer me an umbrella,
To show me that it would pass,
But I didn’t buy it.
“There is no safe place and no safe place to put my head…”
I didn’t think I would see the sun here again.
The warm feelings that I once had were gone.
There was no use in trying any retrieving.
“When you can feel the world shake from the words that are said…”
“I’m leaving,”
I said.
“I’m going.
At the end of the year if I can’t go now.
There’s nothing that anybody can say to change my mind.”
My family begged me to stay,
But said that I could move along if I still felt this way.
One more semester,
I promised,
Then that would be it.
There was still something, though,
That made me reluctant to leave.
It just didn’t make sense—
How could this be part of His plan?
Why would He want me to leave
After I had followed Him here?
Why would He want me to leave a place that was focused on Him?
Where was He in all of this?
I knew He was there somewhere,
But where?
“I want a reason for the way things have to be.”
So,
One night,
I started praying.
Lord,
I said,
“I need a sign to let me know You’re here.”
You know You have my heart, God.
I’ll stay if You want me to,
But “I need to know that things are gonna look up”
‘Cause I can’t go on like this.
“I need a hand to help build up some kind of hope inside of me.”
So I’ll give it one more semester —
Fifteen more weeks—
And,
If things don’t change,
I’ll know that this is not in the plan’s range.
So I waited and listened and hoped and prayed
Wondering when the response would be conveyed.
Little did I know,
It was in the works.
While I heard nothing,
He was putting everything into action,
Sending down the rescue team,
Saying “I’m calling all angels.
I’m calling all you angels.”
Go find her,
Guide her,
Show her back from where she went astray.
Tell her not to pack.
Tell her that she is meant to stay.
So they flew in at just the right minute,
Cheering and guiding and lifting me up,
Restoring peace, happiness, and love,
And suddenly I had my answer.
“Okay, Lord, I get it. I’ll stay.
I know that You will be with me all the way.
I won’t give up if You don’t give up.”
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