There are plenty of ways for a spendthrift like me to spend three dollars. I could buy a couple of beers at Tony D’s. I could download three new songs from iTunes. I can listen to 15 songs on the eclectic Athena Diner jukebox.
But buying a picture of myself with our outgoing President, Rev. Aloysius P. Kelley, S.J. is the best way I could ever spend $3.
It might seem ridiculous to some of you that one would actually have to spend money just to get a picture next to Father Kelley. Most of the time, I’d agree with you. In this case, though, the money collected from the event was donated to a Global Outreach trip to Mexico.
So knowing I have helped the cause of social justice in our world, I will now treasure my blurry, grainy Polaroid picture of Father Kelley and me forever. Seriously, though, ideas like this one are great. I’m hoping Tuesday’s event will spawn a whole series of like-minded fundraising. Here are some examples:
*For a $2 donation, Father Kelley will personally record a voicemail greeting for your dorm room/townhouse/apartment. How great would this be? “Hello, this is Father Kelley. You’ve reached townhouse 85. For Chris, press 1. For Bobbo, press 2. For Julian, press 3. For Tom, press 4. For Don, press 5. If you have seen Grant, stay on the line.”
*For $5, Vice President of Student Services Bill Schimpf and Dean of Students Mark Reed will wash your car. Tip is not included.
*For $25, you can trade homes for one night with Director of Housing Gary Stephenson. Finally, Mr. Stephenson can enjoy all the luxuries of student living he has worked so hard over the years to provide us with! Just picture him walking down the Jogues first floor hallway early in the morning wearing flip flops and a bath robe, ready for a shower and shave!
*For $10, teach King Dykeman’s philosophy class. Make him go to the library for not being prepared. Say “Dinkboops” a lot.
*For $100 (it’s worth it), rent out the Ignatian College Commons in Loyola Hall for a weekend. Leather couches, plush carpeting and a big-screen TV will all be for your enjoyment. Lights out at midnight, though, with no exceptions.
There you go, Fairfield! With this sort of fundraising, pretty soon we wouldn’t need tuition at all!
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