Facebook is the epicenter of our existence as college students. If it isn’t your homepage, it probably should be because it’s everyone’s most visited site. My excuse is that I check my e-mail a lot. Whatever, it makes me feel better about myself.

Things are getting a little out of control with the applications. I will not be a ninja or pirate, stop asking me, but let’s just let Mark Zuckerberg live for giving us the best thing since Webshots.

Selecting your picture is crucial. If I see another picture of someone flaunting a keystone or a red Solo cup, I might vomit. We’re all in college. We all drink.

Also, guys: Don’t use a baby picture of yourself. That just reeks of desperation. Scatter actual baby pictures of you and your cousin around your house like I do.

Albums are priceless, but do we have to name them after whatever rap song is popular at the time? “ThE gOoD LiFe” is embarrassing. Pick a case.

Forty-five pictures of you changing your facial expressions while pregaming? Oh no, you forgot to do the kissy face. Take another one. You’re a joke.

Am I the only one counting down the days until the spring break albums are released?

Friends of the same sex (I can’t believe some guys do this) who are “in an open relationship/it’s complicated with” each other are about as funny as Jackie’s column. And I’ll tell you something that isn’t complicated, the amount of friends they have: zero. If you are actually in an open relationship, have some self-respect and don’t put it on Facebook. Like, don’t tell the world that your “girlfriend” is looking to have sex with other people.

I hate the “I’ve never facebooked anyone” guy. Not only have you done it, but you also probably suck at life and changed your privacy settings so people can’t see your profile. I understand why some babes go private, but guys? The only reason we even want to see your profile is to show others how much of a d-bag you are.

The wall-to-wall barely edges out the online now as my favorite feature. (It finally pays off to be at the end of the alphabet.) If anyone has written on your wall 4+ times in a row you need to call a timeout and stop the mo. Speaking of which, beware of the gator.

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