To all wingmen out there, I dedicate this article to you.
The goal of every single male when they go out at night is to find a beautiful young lady to go home with.
However, sometimes this beautiful young lady is sitting at the corner of the bar with her friend whose nickname in high school was probably “Chewbacca.” In this case a good wingman is necessary, one who is going to step in to ensure that his friend has enough time to convince this girl that the two of them were meant for each other-at least for that night anyways.
A true wingman must separate the not-so-attractive girl from her friend, bringing her out of earshot of his friend and the hot girl, giving him some alone time. The wingman must then keep the behemoth occupied for as long as it takes.
Often this requires drastic measures, such as engaging her in conversation and pretending to care about the latest episode of “Sex in the City.”
Even worse, a wingman’s responsibility may be to listen to how the buffalo desperately wants a designer handbag or shoes made by some foreign dude who played with one too many dolls when he was growing up. Regardless of what the subject of conversation is and how painful it may be to endure, the wingman must pretend to be a very good listener.
The wingman must very quickly respond to any prying questions that the girl may have about his friend. Whereas guys don’t care about the character of girl that their buddy is talking to, girls focus on this stuff for some reason. She is likely to ask the wingman if his friend is a player whose sole motive is to get in her friend’s pants. It is the wingman’s duty to respond with these exact lines:
“Oh no, definitely not. He’s usually the shy one. I’ve known him since I was little. He’s got a great job and he loves puppies. He’s only been with one girl in his life, his girlfriend of four years. She was so mean to him for all that time. She cheated on him a few weeks ago and is now seeing some other dude. Tonight’s the first night in a long while that I’ve seen him happy.”
Foolproof.
At the end of the night, the wingman’s job may get ugly. If his friend has good enough game, then the hot girl is probably willing to come home with him only if her friend can come as well. A good wingman will go home with a “two” just so his friend can have the experience with hooking up with a “ten.”
Keep “Taking one for the team so your friends can live the dream.”
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