As spring rolls around a lot of things begin to change on and off campus. Trees and flowers will bloom, the sun will shine ever brighter and the Quad’s sod will hopefully turn from an unhealthy yellow to a bright shade of green.
More importantly to you, the college male, spring also brings the starting of mating season. And it’s not the kind you see on National Geographic. It’s the kind that’s on HBO on Thursdays after 11 p.m.
The reason for the apparent sexual frustration at Fairfield is due to something more than just pheromones. It may have something to do with the emergence of the two hibernating articles of our dearest affection: bikinis and miniskirts. Oh, and of course, the fun contained therein.
Apart from the girls that stood outside Bravo in stripper attire all winter long, the revival of the female summer wardrobe is like a breath of fresh air. Sorry ladies, as much as you love your North Face jackets, they just haven’t been doing it for us. But show a little skin, and we’ll be all over you like white on rice.
I’ll admit it, us guys are pretty easy to please when it comes to dress. But be warned: You are all being judged and compared against one another with the most discerning of eyes. So if you don’t have it, please don’t flaunt it: one-pieces exist for a reason. However, if there are any babes out there that can make a one-piece look stellar, I want to meet you and your roommates. I’ll even wear my Speedo for you all.
As this warm spell continues, I urge you guys to take advantage of every opportunity to get in some drawers. Seniors, may I remind you only have one month left to get with your freshman crush, even if she has gained a few pounds from all that Keystone since you first spotted her in September. Yes, spring at Fairfield is a beautiful thing, especially when considering our beautiful co-ed population.
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