In his major work, ‘Being and Nothingness,’ Jean Paul Sartre proclaimed, ‘The essence of the lie implies in fact that the liar actually is in complete possession of the truth which he is hiding.’ Without going into an existential analysis of why men lie to women, understand that we do so because of their conniving ways.
The reason we are forced to lie in the first place is because women have an unrealistic perception as to who we really are. I blame MTV. Forced into thinking that all men are chauvinistic pigs, the vast majority of women conform to that which they hate. That is to say they become, for lack of a better word, sluts. Have you ever watched VH1? A vast majority of girls are straight up out of their minds.
Thus, we are forced to lie to women about our age, how many women we’ve slept with and the size of our genitalia in an attempt to make ourselves appear older, more virile, and more masculine.
Ironically, women argue the inverse: admitting less and less of their sexual endeavors. So beware: just because she doesn’t remember it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. After all, she is taking penicillin for a reason.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years it is that women are not interested in us if they feel we do not have a working penis. Ever notice that once you start dating, every girl that previously thought you were a loser hits on you? Pure and simple, women want to get laid just as much, if not more, than we do.
It’s a real shame because this makes a lot of honest guys feel miserable. Ladies, you’d be surprised how many of your collegiate male peers feel that they would be better off waiting until marriage than to take a few test drives first.
Unfortunately, these poor fools will either never find the woman of their dreams, or be forced to conform to the succubus that is the female race of the 21st century.
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