“He broke up with me: with a Post-It.” For those unaware, this is a line from HBO’s Sex and the City, referring Carrie Bradshaw’s boyfriend leaving her apartment in the middle of the night with a lone Post-It explaining why. Why is breaking up with someone, or telling them you’re not interested, such a hard thing to do? There should be some common sense etiquette to follow, yet most cases involve avoidance, deceit, heartache or all of the above. While I have never had a relationship end by means of a Post-It, I have had a guy dump me by leaving a voicemail the day after my birthday. Oh yeah, it was the most heart-warming present I’ve ever received. Yes, I had a feeling the relationship was ending, however I expected him, oh I don’t know, to do it in person. Foolish me. The only reason “voicemail guy” is slightly excused is because I’ve experienced worse. One guy I dated decided to let me know we were over by hooking up with someone else at a New Year’s party. Happy New Year to you too! Now, this is not just a problem the women experience; men have had their fair share of being stood up, given paper thin excuses and receiving fake phone numbers. There are actually several telephone numbers courageous people can hand out to those they deem undesirable. The Rejection Hotline, for instance, promises on their Web site to “not so subtly inform [the caller] of your [number giver] non-interest”. Some folks may claim that telling someone it’s over, or is never even going to begin, is hard, awkward and uncomfortable. Well, they may be right. The unfortunate soul may weep, scream, beg or throw objects at your head in some haphazard, incoherent order. Conversely, they may be more of an adult than you. They may cry a little bit if you have been dating. They may not buy you another drink if you just met at a bar. They will, in most cases, be grateful for the honesty, even if they don’t realize it until the next day or so. They may even be happy to rid themselves of your juvenile existence because they are now open to the opportunity of finding someone who is better than you with which to have a meaningful, enjoyable relationship. So, unless you think the objects thrown may be large and possibly dangerous, act like the mature adult you’re supposed to be and always, always be honest. Recently a boy kissed me, then told me he had an “on again – off again relationship” and wanted to know if I cared about that. Granted, he should have told me before he stuck his tongue down my throat, but at least he told me the truth. I wasn’t okay with it, but he saved himself, and myself, a good deal of trouble down the road. Who knows, maybe the next girl won’t care about the girlfriend. Always be honest in person. At least, if they really flip out, you’ll have sufficient evidence to know you made the right decision.
Leave a Reply