As Chuck astutely pointed out this week, he and I often write somewhat condescending remarks about the opposite sex. Side note: by “we” he meant me, implying that I am some sort of egotistical 5’8″ grotesque man-hater who fosters hatred towards college males in perpetuity. This, of course, is far from the truth and I have many nice thoughts about guys. What follows however should not be construed as an ode to men, merely a discussion on things I find endearing in my male counterparts…things that I have never taken to be done just for the sake of scoring a hookup, but I wouldn’t put it past them.
Dear Male Reader,
Of all the things you do, it’s the little things that count. I love when you exhibit the basic acts of courtesy and consideration. I don’t doubt that there are girls who require a higher level of maintenance, i.e. have to know your whereabouts 24 hours a day. But for me, a simple phone call to do lunch or see how a test went during the standard sobriety hours of 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. on a weekday goes a long way. I love when you sing. And by sing I don’t necessarily mean being serenaded by a choreographed Justin Timberlake number. But I do enjoy occasions of spontaneous enthusiasm for a song on the radio where what follows is an unexpected rock-out session to Michael Jackson, complete with moon walk, crotch grab, air guitar pumps off a couch and Billy Jean vocals. Or times when you and your guy friends are riding in a car belting out the words to Britney Spears’ “Santa Can Your Hear Me” CD….in the middle of September. I love when you pretend to know what you are doing. Although it must be said that this has often ended in less than desirable situations, i.e. fresh baked cookies that resemble rocks or practical jokes that end in small fires or hospital trips. I love how you guys try to domesticate wild animals into pets. From pet flies on a string (dental floss is too heavy) to anything still alive on the beach…your sense of nuturing never ceases to amaze me. I further love how you can walk into a store and walk out five minutes later with nothing that matches but still looks great on you (until three hours later when remnants of food and beer can be found on the front). Your quirks keep us coming back for more.
Kisses,
A Not-So-Secret Admirer
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