Every year, thousands are affected by this unstoppable force. Adults ages 18-24 are highly at risk, though no one is ever completely safe. An extremely high volume of incidents occur on Friday and Saturday nights between the hours of 11 p.m. and 3 a.m., so it is strongly suggested that you remember: YOU ARE NOT INVINCIBLE. Upon entering the bar it is recommended that you lock your keypads and pray for bad reception – because there’s a Drunk Dialer in all of us.
There’s no denying that we’ve all fallen prey to the allure of the drunk dial. Face it, after your fourth vodka tonic you think you are a genius. So it’s only natural to think that giving your current hook up a buzz is the best idea you’ve ever had – you’d be wrong, but I don’t judge.
No matter how hard we try to stop ourselves, there really is no avoiding it. Replacing his name in your contact list with “Bad Idea” or “Robbie NO” seems like it would work, but all it will do is delay the inevitable. We all know that where there’s a will, there’s a way, and after you drunkenly remember implementing that smart little tactic, you’ll call him anyway.
Don’t count on your friends to stop you either. Friends should never let friends drink and dial, but there’s a good chance they will. They’re probably just as, if not more, intoxicated than you are. And, being the loving and supportive friends that they are, they’ll agree that yes, even though it’s been a week since you last heard from the guy, he probably was just really busy and yes, you should totally call him, because he’s (duh!) just playing hard to get.
Slightly less terrible than the drunk dial is the drunk text, only because the humiliation isn’t instant and you can always tell yourself that maybe he never got it (but trust me, he got it.). Plus, T9 word is confusing enough when you’re sober so it’s pretty much guaranteed that your attempt to get him to come over will read “H wher r u doig shiv mow? Bond oker” (translation: Hi what are you doing right now? Come over). You’ll probably add in a little winky face at the end, because you think it’s cute and flirty. Winky faces are never ok. Remember that. So what do you do when you wake up and remember your shameless attempt to get some?
Delete your outbox and move on with your life. Tomorrow’s another day.
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