A comically cynical man with an Irish brogue artfully pauses as the Guinness settles into the pint glass. 119 seconds. That’s how long we must wait for a perfectly poured pint of Irish pride.
I’d never thought to review Guinness. It’s good. I’ve always been told that and I’ve never questioned it. It’s what you drink in an Irish pub. The official beer of St. Patrick’s day. Monday night, accompanied by Dan Leitao and Eric Bernsen of The Mirror, I attempted to peel back its dark brown layers.
Well, it is good. It’s also misunderstood. Sure, Guinness is dark, but it’s not “too heavy” or “too filling.” It’s a wholesome beer that must be appreciated differently. The nose is slightly malty, but overall clean. Its fine carbonation makes for a creamy, textured head that sticks around until the very end, and the drink is also almond in color.
The malt character has hints of pale barley and bitter chocolate-roasted malts. It starts smooth and bittersweet; somewhat reminiscent of dark chocolate accompanied by an espresso shot. It ends with a touch of hop bitterness; Goldings, to be exact.
All in all, it’s a good pub stout. I’ve certainly tasted better stouts, but it’s good for a mass produced and heavily marketed beer.
I realized that, as with wine tasting, we should have started with a light-bodied beer and moved towards Guinness. Instead, we worked from “heavy” to “light.”
Next up was Smithwicks. Its looks are deceiving. The reddish amber appearance would have you think it’s going to be an enjoyable, Irish, red ale. However, there is nothing to say about this beer. It disappointed me with its lack of body, aroma, and malt and hop character. That said, it’s easy drinking; there’s just not much to think about as you put it down.
The last beer we tried was Harp. Again, not much to say about this lager. It’s crisp and clean with no real character. The thing about lagers is that the yeast used to make them consumes much more of the malt sugars than ale yeast. This results in a crisp beer that is drinkable, but overall boring.
Next, we moved to Magners Irish cider. We tried both the traditional apple cider and Magners Pear cider. I’m not a fan of ciders, but it wasn’t bad. It is basically fermented and carbonated apple juice: Sweet, and alcoholic.
Before we were done with the cider, Kevin the bartender reluctantly mixed up “Irish” shots. The first of them was an “Irish Monkey.” I knew from the name that it probably was an American invention, but I went with it. It’s a mix of Jameson, Bailey’s, and a mint liquor. Not bad with its smoothness and minty aftertaste. However, I wouldn’t drink more than one. The hangover must be horrendous.
About the only Irish thing in a “Baby Guinness” shot is the Guinness name. It’s about 95 percent Kahlua with a drop of Bailey’s on top. It resembles a Guinness and the coffee liquor gives it somewhat of the same qualities, but again, it’s only a novelty that no Irishman seems to enjoy.
After the novelty shots, we moved on to straight Irish whiskey. First up was Slane Castle whiskey. It was fairly smooth and palatable. I’d certainly try it again.
“Paddy” was just bad. Big bite. Nothing good to say about it.
Bushmills Black Label was like Johnny Walker Red Label: big bite and plainly unpalatable.
Jameson was drinkable. It’s without a doubt the most popular whiskey and is commonly used for mixed drinks and shots. It has a great ad campaign that is clearly working.
Tullamore Dew was not bad. I’d recommend it for shots, but not for sipping.
We finished off our whiskey tasting with a whiskey-based liquor called “Irish Mist.” It is made with honey and “Aromatic Spices.” Although it’s not my kind of drink, I would recommend it to those who like sweet liquors. It’s a very sweet spin on whiskey and quite drinkable. Try it on the rocks with a lemon twist or mix a splash of club soda and lemon into it.
Just for the sake of cleansing our palates, we ordered “Black and Tans” and “Black and Velvets.” A Black and Tan is a classic 50/50 mix of Guinness and a pale ale (traditionally Bass). Kevin poured us a Black and Tan with Harp. To me, there really is no substitute for a Black and Tan with Bass.
Finally, I tried a Black and Velvet for the first time. It’s a 50/50 mix of Guinness and Magners. I’d highly recommend it for anyone who likes sweeter drinks and is hesitant to try Guinness. It’s basically a very sweet and flowery Guinness. Eric turned to me and stated that it “starts off sweet and finishes perfect.” I agreed as Kevin handed us the large plate of French fries that Dan had ordered before we tapped out and left.
Whatever your St. Patrick’s Day drink of choice may be, please enjoy them responsibly. The luck of the Irish is not with those who choose to drive under the influence. Remember to tip your bartender (especially if it’s Kevin at the Field). Sláinte!
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