Avril Lavigne: Let Go – What’s worse than Christina and Brittney? Their imitatiors. Avril Lavigne’s “Let Go” is the latest pop-clone album. The only thing she added to the decent bouncy tunes studio musicians laid out for her (like Mommy dressing her for kindergarten) were so-so lyrics and Alanis Morissette’s vocal style.
The Tragically Hip: In Violet Light – “In Violet Light” was a big cliche. The tracks simultaneously ripped off past albums, and each other. Normally, their bluesy rock is edgy and inspired, but this is the sort of album people line dance to at a wedding. Try again, fellas. We know you’re capable of more. Oasis: Heathen Chemistry – I’m about as rabid an Oasis fan as Marcia Brady for Davy Jones, so I’d accept any scrap of music they want to toss at me. Except “Heathen Chemistry”. Well okay, maybe it’s not the worst album ever made, but enough with the blatant Beatles references, boys! Make your own wonderfully sweeping music!
Christina Aguilera: Stripped – If Christina Aguilera put on one article of clothing for every song that was bad on her album, we’d have her bundled up as Kenny on “South Park”. “Stripped” is the album that couldn’t decide its identity. To compensate, it lasts longer than an afternoon final on a ninety-degree day. Mariah Carey: Charmbracelet – Mariah Carey sings about the same stuff in the same style on all her albums. Always the same boring sound. The only difference with “Charmbracelet” was all the drama that surrounded it because she couldn’t decide on the title. It’s not the title that was the problem, Mariah.
Santana: Shaman – Santana’s amazing “Supernatural” was remarkable because of the innovative concept, the incredible guest talent involved, and the sincerity of the songs on the album. All of that is absent on “Shaman”. Carlos, you’re a rock god who got a bunch of B-list talent to sing cutsie songs with you. I’d fire your advisors, if I were you.
Bruce Springsteen: The Rising – “The Rising” sounds like Bruce Springstein is falling. His rock has always been edgier than fellow Jersey boy Bon Jovi, but as of this album, Springstein seems as much about bubble gum pop as he is. Too bad the gum’s flavor’s gone stale.
Matchbox 20: More Than You Think You Are – I hope this doesn’t mean Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20 won’t marry me anymore, but “More Than You Think You Are” was a let down. With a first single as much fun as “Disease”, you’d think the rest of the album would deliver more of a punch. Don’t let me down ever again, Rob!
Nirvana: Nirvana – Nirvana? Impossible to reach with their 2002 offering. While the previously unreleased “You Know You’re Right” does feature Kurt Cobain at his grungy best, between this album and the publishing of his diaries, I can’t help but wonder if all this is truly for his glory or Courtney’s wallet.
Various Artists: Spiderman Soundtrack – Now, I know this is a random one, but “boo!” to the “Spiderman” movie soundtrack. Soundtracks have gotten better as of late with good stuff like “Almost Famous” out there, but this one clocks in at over an hour with only about four quality songs on there (counting the original theme from the 60’s cartoon, of course). If you’re going to make a soundtrack, make it buyable.
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