Dear Dee,
My boyfriend and I have been dating since second semester Freshman year. This is the best relationship I have ever been in. The only problem is that next semester I will be studying abroad in Galway, Ireland. My boyfriend and I have become inseparable but I have been planning on studying abroad way before I got to college. He fully supports my idea of going abroad but wants us to stay together. I want the full experience of going abroad but I don’t want to lose him. Is there anyway I can have my Guinness and drink it too?
Sincerely,
International Love Affair
Dear ILA,
It sounds like you have a great relationship based on trust and honest support for each other. That is something that does not come along all the time and you are right for wanting to keep that relationship going strong. What you have to remember though is that separation does not have to mean an end to the relationship unless one of you does not want to work at it while you are away.
When you are saying you want “the full experience of going abroad” I am assuming that you mean you want to go there, meet new friends, and learn about Ireland. If you want the freedom to be able to date other people while in Ireland, then you should be honest with your boyfriend and tell him how you feel. You may decide to go on a mutual “break” while you are away and let fate play through. If however, you want to stay faithful to your boyfriend, I can give you some ideas of how to keep the love alive.
Going to Galway will be an amazing experience and one that if you forego for any reason would cause you regret. You would resent your boyfriend for “making you” stay in the US and that would be a catalyst that could easily destroy your relationship. Going to Ireland could actually strengthen your relationship.
While it is difficult to not see the person you love, if you are both committed to each other and trust each other, you can talk via email, skype, and occasionally phone to stay in touch. Your boyfriend can also plan to come see you over spring break and build experiences together. Long distance relationships are difficult, but not impossible. This is especially true when it is only for a limited number of months AND if you both want to make it work. If this relationship is as wonderful as you say, then enjoy your time in Galway, work to make your relationship stronger, drink your Guinness, and when you return to the US you will see that your boyfriend is still your cup o’ tea.
– Dee
Disclaimer: This column is for entertainment only. The author is a student, not a licensed therapist, and this column is not intended to take the place of professional advice. The views expressed are the author’s and are not necessarily shared by The Mirror or its staff.
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