He Said – Blackout: What Happened Last Night?

Did I see you last night? How did we end up home? What’s your name? These are questions asked every weekend on college campuses the next morning. BLACKOUT. It is something that will happen to most college students, but it is how you deal with it that makes all the difference.

I’d tell you all the medical reasons that blackouts happen but clearly by the amount of Four Loko on campus this weekend nobody gets scared by articles like, “The Dangers of ‘Blackout’ In a Can.” (I mean even the writer of that article had a Four Loko this weekend)

Blackouts can cause uncomfortable scenarios from not knowing who you called a name, to not knowing who you were making out with in the corner of the party, that is until you’re tagged Sunday morning on Facebook, or worse — a video appears. But it is all about how you play it off, something I have yet to master in four years.

Guys, sadly, “Your Honor I don’t remember smashing the pumpkin on that car’s windshield, I was blackout,” is not an excuse in the eyes of the law. Socially it doesn’t hold much ground either. Just because you soberly wouldn’t leave the party with that girl or tell some girl she was the most amazing person ever, being blackout is only so much of an excuse, because at the end of the day, you did what you did.

Now She Said wants you to be snarkey and just say, “Oh get over it. I was clearly too drunk to know what I was saying.” If that works for you by all means use that line all the time. It might get you slapped, or your number erased from a few phones, but in the grand scheme of things that’s probably best.

“I don’t recall.” Didn’t work out to well for Clinton so use it with great caution. I mean, in the end you can pretend it never happened, agree to never mention it again, or simply say, “Let’s both be mature, I don’t know what I did and I’m sorry that it offended you, but I was blackout. Can we please talk about this and then figure out what to do.” Sounds a little shrinky but trust me it usually works. Blackouts are a reality of stupid college drinking, so unless you plan to stop drinking stupidly, you will most likely blackout again.

However, She Said, about Friday night. Whatever I said is still on the table, but let’s call it even since you remember neither of our awesome conversation on Saturday, nor meeting my brother.