Barstool Sports.
Guys (dare I say gentlemen?) of Fairfield, please don’t tell me that your lives are so devoid of entertainment that you have to resort to staring at women whom you will never get anywhere near. Seriously, if you’re bored, try yoga. I hear it’s very relaxing. Please, Mr. iPhone, back me up here; even you set your sights on tangible women.
And ladies, if you’ve just had a fight with your best friend, or you didn’t get that job you wanted, or you are feeling upset and/or suicidal and/or less than downright chipper in any way, DO NOT CHECK OUT THIS WEBSITE. Please, take it from a girl who cares about you. Whether you’re apathetic towards partially clothed women corrupting Facebook or you pity women who feel the need to lower their standards, step away from the computer screen. Definitely not the site for you.
So…let’s make a website that makes women exploit themselves on the Internet so that guys can ogle for hours in front of the computer screen over strategically posed women and so girls can feel thoroughly insignificant despite their perfectly beautiful appearances. Yay!
Body image. Whether we’re not as bootylicious as Beyoncé or we’re not as jacked as The Situation (who, by the way, now has an astute piece of published literature, so if anyone needs a break from the 500th page of War and Peace, I hear he sagaciously details how to “creep on chicks”), we all struggle with how we look, and what is more, how others think we look. And let’s face it – Freddie Mercury may have liked his fat-bottomed girls, but if that really were the trend I doubt I would still be struggling to find an open treadmill every time I go into the RecPlex.
So why do we choose to spend so much time primping, priming, making over, making under, and remodeling? Don’t get me wrong, I’m totally guilty of it too, but did you ever stop and think who all of this is for? Is it for our own personal satisfaction, our knowing that we look our best to make us feel our best, or is it for someone else?
I can’t even tell you how many friends I’ve had who have said things to me like, “I can’t cut my hair [insert boyfriend’s name here] doesn’t like short hair.” Now, I get that you’re in love, and you want to please the one you love, but have a little independence. Ladies – and men – my message to you: be yourself. You will be more content with yourself and then, finally, when it’s your turn, some lucky dame or gent will find that your uniqueness is the pea in their individualistic-yet-room-for-one-more pod.
By the way, the tagline for Barstool Sports: “By the common man, for the common man.” How about, “By the desperate, unloved man, for the brainless, idiotic, male-chauvinistic, equally desperate and unloved man?” Yeah, I think that works. Of course, a few more profanities come to mind, but I don’t necessarily think they’re Stag-approved.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless Blackberry
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