Your class is over at 4:45pm on Friday, and that is just cutting it WAY too close to the beginnings of your blackout weekend. I mean, really, there’s not enough time between when you get back from class until you go to the townhouses at 10:30 pm to get ready. Inevitably, this leads to missing class.
It’s the same sequence of events every night of the weekend. You get something for dinner, usually not involving carbs, so that you don’t have anything in your stomach to absorb the copious amounts of vodka you’re going to drink (and so you can look skinny in your new skin-tight dress).
The pregame starts at 7pm with a few glasses of wine. You take pictures of each other starting around 9 p.m., complaining about how frizzy your hair is, and how even though you didn’t eat a lot at dinner, you still have a small food baby.
The venture to the townhouses starts around 10 p.m., and you’re stumbling back into your dorm with a box of Dominoes around 3a.m., mobile uploading anything you think is relevant to your drunken escapades, and updating your Facebook status to something similar to “jnkf8 domnoes woo drunk#!”
I absolutely love the outfits that some girls wear to go out on the weekends during the winter. Every single article of clothing is the same size- it’s incredible.
Four-inch heels, a skirt that’s four inches long, and a tank top that shows four inches of your stomach. Do not tell me you’re not freezing as your teeth are chattering. I know how it feels, and I’ll sympathize with you.
Your heels obviously wind up finding their way into your hands. There’s no way to avoiding that.
Even if you duct taped the soles of your feet to your heels, you’d find a ways to pry them off to avoid the blisters that you feel forming as you’re dancing to AVICII. Guess those shoes were not as comfortable to you at 2 a.m. as you thought they were in the store when you tried them on yesterday.
Quick tip? Always buy heels with the intention that you’re going to be walking about drunk in them. Try stumbling a little bit in the store before you buy them. If your ankles are still intact, they’re a great pair of shoes. If not? Well, where are you going to wear them if you don’t wear them out on the weekend here? Waste of money if they’re not drunk-girl approved.
I think girls learn after a few too many bad experiences to start preparing for the worst when they go out on the weekends.
What have I learned? Comfortable heels are key. If your feet hurt, you’re going to have a bad night. It brings out the worst in girls; if you’re not comfortable, everyone within a five-mile radius is going to know it.
If you keep ice cream and chips in your room, guess what you’re eating when you get back from a party? You’ll find a way to make an interesting combo with whatever is in your fridge.
Delete ALL food delivering phone numbers from your phone. And if you still find a way to order food after you get home without the phone number in your phone book, my God, you deserve those calories. Between the dancing, screaming, stumbling, crying, and picture taking, you worked hard for them. It’s all in a weekend’s work.
– Sent from my Blackberry
Leave a Reply