It’s Saturday night, and you’re going out. You know you’re going to run into that little girl who wears those low rise jeans in your sociology class at the townhouses, or you’re a girl who’s gonna run into the meathead-lookin’ dude from English at the Grape. What do you do? How do you impress that special member of the opposite sex?
Well, if you’re a guy, it’s not too hard to impress a girl. First of all, don’t be ugly. If you are, all hope is not lost, but make sure to remember some certain rules.
1) Good Grooming. Take a shower, shampoo, body-wash, shave (nice and tidy everywhere) Smelling like crap isn’t gonna get you anywhere with a girl.
2) An extension of Good Grooming, clip your nails, brush your teeth (like your breath won’t smell like the “inside of a dead hyena’s mouth”{Bradly} after some beers and a few parliament lights), and gel your hair. For hair I suggest the short hair with spikes in the front, it’s proven itself over and over again.
3) Nice clothes. I don’t know why but chicks really like clothes, and the more expensive, the better. They can tell clothes from Faded Glory to Polo to Armani, and it does count, as does shoes, watch, and car.
4) Have a sense of humor. Making chicks laugh is good.
5) Alcohol is an inevitable addition, use with caution (Jazz).
I don’t wanna be completely one sided in my advice, so here’s some advice for you ladies out there.
1) Don’t be ugly. This counts a lot more for you, I didn’t invent the double standard, it’s there, deal. Still though, there is hope, be a cool girl, have a sense of humor, and dress well. Smell good too, it’s even more important for chicks.
2) I guess next is to play dumb. I see girls talk in class, almost as smart as a guy, that go out, all out dolled up. Their eyes glaze over and they get a really stupid laugh. I’m can’t argue this approach, even though I disagree with it, because success speaks for itself.
Weekend Fortunes: Freshmen- You will get caught by security trying to sneak in a 30 of Bush Light. Sophomores- You will get your bad fake I.D. taken away at Russels. Juniors- you will think you’re cool, but you’re not. Seniors- you will live it up.
Lucky Numbers 4 9 18 24 37
Leave a Reply