HE SAID… Confidence: too much of a good thing?

Confident guys always get girls…because they’re confident, or because they get girls- which one is it? Regardless, being charming, funny and self-assured makes for confidence, and chicks like it.

Chicks claim guys who are too confident are jerks, but remember, typically when “engaging” a chick, you don’t want her to like you as much as you want to be her drunken regret.

For confidence, take care of yourself. Hours and hours spent in the gym will help. Clip nails, use hair gel, wear expensive clothes, not so much for you, but because chicks notice and like expensive clothes. If you have it, flash lots of money. Whiten your teeth. Go tanning. But the easiest way to attain confidence is to get pretty drunk.

You lose your inhibitions. You stop caring so much about what other people think. You can do crazy things like dance. Talking to girls is easier as well, if she shoots you down, you can call her some sort of bad name and move on to another. There are always more girls.

And as the night goes on, they get dumber and dumber, and often better looking as well.

For chicks, gaining confidence is slightly different. Most chicks start with self-esteem so low, they’re beyond hope, but they can fake it. They can take out their “boobs.” They put on makeup and perfume, because they aren’t pretty and they smell. They make fun of what others are wearing to feel better about themselves. Most of all, they hang out with girls uglier then them, to be hot by comparison.

Girls do other funny things, too. For instance, if they put on a pair of jeans and they’re too tight, they tell themselves the dryer shrunk them and that it’s not cause they got fatter. Self-deception is big with them. Attention grabbers, like dancing on a table or bar, being in a thong contest or wet t-shirt contest, are great ways girls can fake confidence.

All in all, moderation and being yourself is the best approach in things. Too bad for us that we don’t do that more often. Remember, chicks really don’t have confidence, making them all the easier to exploit. They look for approval from guys (or girls, if a lesbian). That’s our biggest advantage in the war (we already won).