A lot of people like to pretend that cliques end in high school. However, most students here would agree that cliques are alive and well at Fairfield U. Here’s a break down so you can figure out where you fall.
Guidos
I was unaware that Clubhouse was open at 10 a.m. on Wednesday morning, but that’s what I would have to assume, judging by some of the ensembles I’ve seen walking around campus. If you’ve got enough gel in your hair to wax every floor of Canisius and your outfit looks like you walked out of a commercial for “NOW That’s What I Call Club Hits Vol. 4,” chances are you’re part of this crowd. But hey – this isn’t a bad thing. Truth be told, I’m always a little jealous of the two girls sitting in front of me in class, looking so comfortable in their matching velour jumpsuits. Not to mention that should their there ever be an impromptu dance party on a Monday afternoon – look – you’re all ready to go!
“Organizers”
Is that what you’d call them? I’m referring to the group of Fairfield U students who refuse to give up and keep trying to arouse school spirit at a university with no football team and less and less traditions every year. Yes, the premiere of the movie “Gigli” may have been better attended than the bingo night you’ve been planning for the last month, but you don’t quit! You just keep humming the Fairfield U fight song, hanging posters in Barone, and filling my mail box with flyers…and I’ll keep recycling them. However, you get the last laugh when you have three pages of extracurricular activities on your resumes and mine just says “She Said.” Don’t give up guys! Go Stags!
“Hippies”
I guess “hippie” is what you’re going for with your oversized shades and bohemian wardrobe, but let’s be honest…most of you “free spirits” have closets sponsored by mommy and daddy, went to preppy Catholic high schools, and are simply fans of the whole Mary Kate/Ashley/Sienna Miller scene. I’m not complaining, I think it’s great. You let that hair grow and wear sandals until Christmas. I love it.
Goths
Last time I counted, there was about 6 of you at Fairfield…and 3 of you were just stopping to get directions to Hot Topic. It’s all good. You’re rocking out, you’re doing your own thing…I dig it. I guess the only question I have for this group is what made you choose Fairfield? Did you not visit campus at all before you came here and notice that this school is overwhelmingly saturated with…
Preppies
Yes, “preps.” There is a 95% chance that you are part of this group. Here’s one easy way to tell: Quickly – turn your head to left and right. Is there a piece of material obstructing your vision? Ah yes, your collar has been well starched and is now perfectly popped. Congrats, you are preppy.
Preppiness seems to be contagious here at Fairfield. It starts innocently enough, a popped collar here or there, maybe even a pair of Uggs, but it won’t be long before you look like Ralph Lauren and J. Crew’s love child. Why we are so obsessed with looking like we just came off the golf course or a sailing trip to Martha’s Vineyard, I don’t know. However, I admit, I am frequently guilty of it myself.
If you or someone you know is interested in learning more about preppiness, or perhaps converting to preppy yourself, I highly recommend going to youtube.com and searching “Smirnoff Tea Partay” for fashion advice and an amusing rap that will undoubtedly remind you of good old Fairfield U. Trust me.
No matter what niche you’ve found for yourself in at Fairfield, hopefully you’ve found something that fits you. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my years here at FU, it’s that you can’t judge a book by its cover.
That said, please, if you are in my 9:30 a.m. history class I am asking you not to judge me when I repeatedly show up in ripped sweatpants, old t-shirts, and bed head worse than Flavor Flav.
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