I’ve heard a lot of people talking about the new alcohol policies during the past week or so. Many are excited and somewhat surprised that the policies legalize beirut, one of Fairfield’s popular pastimes. But if you look closely, the new policies aren’t quite as generous as you’d think.
The new policies do indeed remove restrictions on drinking games, so if I were to throw everything I have in my Dolan single out into the hallway, I could barely squeeze a beirut table into my room and have a blast. But for townhouse residents specifically, there’s not much to be gained. The rules blocking certain uses of the basement will assure that beirut games will still be minimal.
For those who haven’t seen the memo, Fairfield introduced a policy a couple of years ago banning usage of the townhouse basements for purposes other than storage. That means you can’t use the basement for parties. A maximum of six people are allowed in the basement at any one time, meaning those wall-to-wall parties in the basement where you can barely breathe, let alone move around, are still barred and can be broken up with ease. And, of course, while they’re breaking it up, they can now swipe your ID and send you to an education class.
Meanwhile, we all know that most students aren’t actually going to use the basements for storage. I can’t exactly blame them. I’m not the smallest guy in the world, and as is I can feel the stairs moving beneath me in some townhouses. I’m not going to risk carrying a 100-pound box down those stairs; I’d be afraid of an unintended drop in elevation. I’m sure that the stairs would probably support me, but I’m also taking a philosophy class that has begun to make me question that.
So the basements are out. Sure, you can set up a beirut table in the living room, but that’s a lot of work, and then people will be able to see it through the window and you’ll have to chase beer-hungry freshmen away with a stick. Plus, cups do fall off the table, and imagine having to clean up that mess with carpeting under you instead of cement.
So what has really changed here? Students will still play games, with an illegal number of people in their basements and security will still shut down the parties that do this. The only addition is under-21s will now be punished for attending. While I never hesitate to encourage people to drink responsibly, it’s also good to plan responsibly so you know what to expect this winter when the rules don’t seem quite as accommodating as they did in September.
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