What’s the difference between a “hot” girl, a “pretty” girl, a “cute” girl, a “beautiful” girl, and a “sexy” girl? And which kind of girl are most guys looking for?
-A hot, pretty, cute, beautiful, AND sexy girl…haha, just kidding, I wish
Asking me these questions is like asking me which Spice Girl (how 1997!) I’d like to date the most.
Everything you asked me is subjective. One guy thinks blondes are really hot, while another (I’m one) prefers brunettes. One guy looks at eyes, another at boobs (well, many guys), another at her teeth (sometimes masked on match.com as “smile”). One guy thinks a sarcastic girl is a lot of fun; another prefers a more quiet kind of girl.
Asking me to define the difference between a hot girl and a sexy girl is way too hot a potato for me even to attempt to handle. I’m going to step away from the question slowly with my hands behind my head, except to say this:
Sexy isn’t always a woman lying on her bed in Victoria’s Secret lingerie. Sometimes it’s the way she laughs or that odd mannerism that shows a slight glimpse of her personality. Sometimes hot isn’t 36-24-36, but the fact that she just *gets* you. Sometimes beautiful isn’t the fact that she doesn’t have a flaw anywhere, but that she has this one flaw that makes you go wild.
The reason you’re asking this question is you’re unsure where you fit into this picture. Yeah, some people have more “success” than others. But if you get right down to it, success is very subjective too.
The fact that you’re asking means that the number of people you’ve kissed is probably secondary to a good, meaningful relationship. It’s about finding the elusive “all-in-one” guy – one who fits your needs and appreciates you. It’s not easy, but that’s why people date around until they find someone who fits that mold. If that fails, the process begins anew. But most of the time, it ends up quite fine in the end.
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I used to think of dating as something pretty straight-forward and simple: you ask the guy/girl out, get their acceptance or denial, you date, test the waters in various scenarios, and proceed to decide whether or not you think and feel that it’s worth pursuing.
So it came as a surprise to me when my friends informed me that over the past two years, I had not dated one boy, but three.
They informed me of this new type of dating: “unspoken” dating; where you start hanging out as friends, and it develops to something more without the question being asked.
Natural development of a friendship into dating is something my friends go through quite often. I think it’s swell.
In my case, I think they are wrong in suggesting that I partook in such “unspoken” dating. Although I’m fairly blind when it comes to men, especially those who might like me, I doubt I would not realize that I was dating them. Thoughts?
-We were WHAT?!?
It’s not dating if both parties don’t agree it’s a date. That’s like saying it wasn’t an accident because the other driver didn’t acknowledge hitting you.
Going to a movie with a guy once is as much dating as my going to Starbucks with a friend to simply chat about what’s going on. If that’s the case, I’m about to drink a lot less coffee. This is especially true if you’re talking about hanging out with friends; unless a clear “we’re stepping over the line” is established, dating is off the table.
I mean, c’mon, were these guys thinking they were going to get some action at the end of it or something? And if they were, shame on them, but they should have also made their thoughts/intentions clear.
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Many guys I meet I really enjoy spending time with and like to hang out with. Sometimes they develop feelings for me, they tell me and then things get awkward. What’s the best way to deal with turning someone away, but making it clear that you do like them just as a friend?
“I’m just not attracted to you” seems to be too much of a blow to the ego. And “I think we should just be friends” doesn’t seem to get the message across, as I’ve had it happen that they try again.
-How to respond?
The “I’m just not attracted to you” line is probably too much of a blow, you’re right. The “I think we should just be friends” line is probably better, but it needs reinforcing.
Some guys get it into their head that if they keep trying, they’ll succeed. So, reinforce your “friends” line with a more stern statement if they persist, since they then deserve a blow to the ego. If they continue beyond that, dropping your friendship with them and eliminating as much contact with them as possible, is the third and final step.
Good luck, and thanks for asking.
E-mail questions to advice@snet.net.
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