“Haven’t you always wanted something named after you?”
Now that you mention it, kind letter I received in my campus mailbox, I have. Let me read on and discover how I could go about this. Oh, there’s the catch, it will be named after our whole class.
A couple of days ago I received a nice note given out to all members of the class of 2003, informing them that if we pledge to raise $25,000, we will get something on campus named after us, “in our honor.”
Wow, I mean, something will “honor” us? What an amazing university we attend! Maybe it’ll be something really neat, like “The Class of 2003 Fairfield Cineplex” or “The Class of 2003 Spring Concert That Doesn’t Suck.”
But, see, this is Fairfield University, and there’s always a catch. For the seniors, the catch is that we have three options to vote on which will “honor” our class. Allow me to elaborate on them.
1. The Class of 2003 Info Desk: Ok, not a bad choice, it is in a pretty high traffic area, but seriously, it costs $25,000 to name this thing? Here’s a better idea: how about we raise some money so it stays open later and we don’t have to return those neat laptops as soon as the sun goes down?
2. The Class of 2003 Director’s Office: No offense to anyone who works in the student activities office, but why on earth would we want to name something that most of the students on campus will never see?
3. The Class of 2003 Inter-Library Loan Terminal: I actually know what this is! That being said, are they kidding?
Horrendously bad choices aside, parents are plunking down close to $120,000 for four years of Fairfield, and we can’t even get a plaque without another 25K?
Why not even do it on the sly? There are some 800 kids in our class, why not just take 100 bucks out of everyone’s tuition? My math is kind of shaky, but that comes out to around 80 grand…we could get three plaques!
My point is that this is all kind of silly. $25,000 will buy a lot of footballs and hockey pucks, if you catch my drift.
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