When I was first learning to shave I started off on a relatively simply two-bladed razor from Gillette. Every morning I would wonder; could they ever dare to put a third blade in?
Well, now not only is there a three-blade razor, but today an even more ambitious razor sits on the shelf – the four-blade Quattro from Schick.
Now, the ladies have known for years that I am a Gillette man. (Mostly due to the series of boxers the company sent me at Christmas in 1999. They have been in heavy use ever since.)
Gillette makes the Mach 3, which upon inception was, and still is, a thing of beauty. I read somewhere that it cost nearly one billion dollars to create it. A billion dollars to add one razor blade!
The shave itself is a real slice of heaven. As long as I rotate the blades to keep them fresh, the hair just glides off my face. However, my ever-present stinginess has led to a few rather graphic occasions when a blade simply had nothing to give.
Flipping through the coupons, as is my Sunday tradition, I eyed a full mail-in rebate coupon for something called the Quattro. Upon closer examination I realized that somehow, the Schick Company had managed to add a fourth blade! The savings convinced me to give it a whirl despite my allegiance to Gillette. I quickly headed to the store in search of shaving nirvana and some allspice. (Another coupon.)
After my usual shower and accompanying rendition of “Bohemian Rhapsody,” I prepared to see if this fourth dimension of shaving could be reality. I’m sad to say the results were negligible. It shaved just like the Mach 3, although with a little less pivot action. Lord knows, I love my pivot action!
It struck out in my book, but the ladies are where the real test is. I approached several women and asked them to “caress” my cheek for purposes of writing this article. They all fled either in disgust or terror. However, a rather hefty UPS lady was much obliged to help out and noted that it was the closest shave she had felt in years. (Although from the looks of it, it didn’t seem as if she had been close to very many men recently.)
In all reality a girl who would describe herself as “mighty close” to me sadly weighed in slightly on the side of the Quattro. “I like it!” she said, explaining that any time my stubble doesn’t rip off her epidermis it’s a plus.
Bottom line is you’re either in or you’re out. Mach 3’s are what the cool guys use. If you want to be a weenie and use an electric, just note that the women will be none too pleased. Oh yeah, and if you think a Quattro makes you hot stuff then think again. (I’d like to close by thanking the good people at Gillette for their generous donation of 700 razor blades, and some fresh boxer shorts, as thanks for endorsement of their product.)
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