Four years after being emancipated from my parents, it looks like I will have no choice but to go back home again. Yes, as a graduating senior with a degree of (seemingly) little use, I will be once again occupying my old room steeped in baseball pennants and with a closet full of toys from days gone by.
Ladies and gentlemen, The Levee has finally arrived! With the addition of Mike's Pizza, the campus watering hole is finally hopping the way it was envisioned. As a quasi-regular, I can attest to the fact that The Levee was practically a ghost town on some nights.
Last week, Andy Uria '05 railed against Public Safety for a supposedly lax job in capturing the burglar who plagued the townhouses earlier this year. According to Mr. Uria, the $6,000 spent to change "Security" to "Public Safety" was money that hindered the force and their ability to nab the perpetrator.
Last week, Wal-Mart, the world's largest corporation, paid 11 million dollars to settle a complaint that it used illegal aliens to clean some of its "super centers." Wal-Mart never admitted any wrongdoing and instead claimed that the illegal immigrants were hired by "contractors" who had essentially pulled the wool over the company's eyes.
The following is a message from my conservative alter-ego Thaddeus R. Thompson: A lot of people are all up in arms about "Global Warming." Let me let you in on a little secret-it doesn't exist! I was driving around in my nineteen-foot SUV with the AC on the other day just soaking it all in.
On The Simpsons Bart is urged to run for class president against Martin, the goody-two-shoes of the fourth grade. Bart's campaign is a steamroller that easily should have won. However, no one, not even Bart himself, remembers to vote. He loses the election 2-0.
Boston Red Sox fans are a hardy group that's endured more than their fair share of abuse. I don't need to point out the obvious; it's been a long time since the Sox won the World Series. To this I say, at least be grateful that the Patriots are in the Super Bowl for the second time in four years.
Why not do it yourself? At Stop-and-Shop you have that option thanks to the chipper self-checkout machines. No more standing in line behind a full shopping cart, instead you can zip through. But while these machines may be convenient and cool they have hidden drawbacks that few realize.
When I was first learning to shave I started off on a relatively simply two-bladed razor from Gillette. Every morning I would wonder; could they ever dare to put a third blade in? Well, now not only is there a three-blade razor, but today an even more ambitious razor sits on the shelf -- the four-blade Quattro from Schick.
Imagine quaint, idyllic Fairfield town center emptied out and dotted with soaped-up store windows. A venerable ghost town is what I want you to picture. It is also partially what Wal-Mart wants to do all across this nation. The ubiquity McDonalds achieved in fast food, Wal-Mart wants to achieve in retailing.