1.Sell your kidney. Come on, you have two of them. Do you really need that extra one?
2.Take to the streets. You’ve got that body, work it. Even if you don’t have that body, I’m sure that shady person lurking around the corner will want it.
3.Bake sale. Only about 8,000 pounds of brownie mix required for one year’s tuition. However, if you’re a sophomore or freshman, good luck finding a place to cook it.
4.Purchase your weight in lottery tickets. I heard the Sunoco on Black Rock recently had a big winner, but would winning $1,000 a week for life even cut it?
5.Rent out the space on your backside where you normally plaster your “FAIRFIELD” logo on your shorts and advertise for local businesses. EAT AT JOE’S looks more than appetizing on your derrière.
6.Dress up as a girl scout and try to sell Sodexho cookies. So what if they’re a little stale?
7.Jump in front of a professor’s Bimmer, and then sue him for all he’s worth! Hey, the pedestrian is always right.
8.Start your own underground taxi service to the beach. How many drunken idiots can you fit in the back of an unmarked black van? Pile them in like cattle.
9.Hotel party at the Hi-Ho Motel. Five dollars a cup. See you there.
10.Invest in a tanning bed and place it in your basement. It’s a goldmine, until the lawsuits roll in.
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